The show begins with the contestants already onstage and waving, and the judges already at the table. How can I describe their outfits completely when they're sitting down? Steven Tyler is wearing a red jacket over a shirt that probably says LOVE (or WOW), and Jennifer Lopez is wearing a white long-sleeved top that is almost styled matronly except for the fact that it's see-through, and only the folds of the fabric keep her safe for tv. Random side note: I just now figured out that the feathers in Steven's hair aren't some kind of earrings, but they're actually attached to his hair. I realized it because a bunch of my friends now have feathers in their hair and they told me that I need to do it, too (I run with a rough crowd, the peer pressure is overwhelming). Feathers plus my light-up Katy Perry dress will really make me a hit at my reunion.
Randy Jackson informs us that tonight is ever so important, because the People of America have been wondering who is In It To Win It and hopefully we'll find out tonight. Randy has obviously forgotten that he himself has told us who is In It To Win It for several weeks now, told us so frequently that I assume everyone is In It To Win It and I am only concerned with who will actually Win It.
The theme tonight, if you can call it that, is one "recent" song and one "from back in the day." That's about as themed as dinner at my house, featuring "food from the fridge" and "food from the cupboard." Sheryl Crow is sitting in with Jimmy Iovine for no particular reason.
James starts off. He'll be singing "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars. Ooh, Jordan Catalano!!! I know, I know, Jared Leto pulled off the rock star gig, and I actually really like his band, so he's all authentic and real and stuff. But still, Jordan Catalano!!! James is wearing a sleeveless denim jacket with studs, the back says "Give Metal A Chance," which, hee! The camera cuts away every time he tries to show it off, though. It starts kind of weak, I'm sad to say, but
then he hits the chorus and runs through the crowd giving high-fives to everyone. And there are fireworks, but the understated kind. There's a J.Lo Chair Dance shot. It kind of sounded flat to me, but I guess it's just me. Steven says James kicked that song's donkey. Jennifer says that we're feeling it. Randy, who hasn't had to explain a song to the audience for a few weeks, tells everyone that Jared Leto is in a band called 30 Seconds to Mars. Then he says that James is In It To Win It.