Much like last night's DWTS finale, after two hours, we will eventually discover who the winner is on this final show of the American Idol season. Scotty or Lauren? Lauren or Scotty?
But first, there are all sorts of musical performances -- the Top 13 singing Lady Gaga's "Born This Way," James Durbin performing with Judas Priest (!), Jacob Lusk performing with Kirk Franklin and Gladys Knight.
Casey Abrams starts singing Queen's "Fat-Bottomed Girls," and I knew Freddie Mercury wasn't going to be showing up on the stage any time soon. Casey kicks a couch out of the way, and hey, there's Jack Black. Huh. OK.
"The ladies of American Idol" are next with "Single Ladies" ... wait, no, it's a medley of Beyonce hits. Then ... looky-there, it's Beyonce herself! She and her backup dancers eventually push the "ladies" to the back of the stage during "Crazy in Love."
Haley Reinhart gets to pair up with Tony Bennett (I guess Led Zep was busy). So maybe the judges were on to something when they said she was a little inconsistent in her choices. Or is that versatility? She even spins Tony on the stage by the piano. That was unexpected!
Lil Jon, TLC and "the ladies" hit the stage, but I'm confused seeing Lil Jon without John Rich or Meat Loaf. (I'm just avoiding how awkward it is seeing T-Boz -- also a Celebrity Apprentice candidate now that I think about it -- and Chilli performing without Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. *sadface*)
Scotty McCreery and Tim McGraw pair up for "Live Like You Were Dying."
In our lesson on nepotism for the evening, Marc Anthony is the next musical performer, with Sheila E accompanying him. And his special dance performer is J.Lo, who does some extra booty shaking for the occasion. That was ... random.
Honestly, yes, there is a lot of filler tonight, but there is so much music that I'm not minding too much. Though I just looked at the clock and realized we still have an hour to go, so there is yet time for me to change my tune (as it were).
The dudes of the Top 13 finally get back on stage with "Kiss," headed by Stefano Langone. But it's another medley! Who will join them on stage? Why, it's Tom Jones. Prepare to throw your undies! (Note: Don't really do this.)
Lauren and Scotty each get to surprise their favorite teacher with a Ford Focus, after which Ryan tells them they each get to pick their favorite Ford vehicle as their very own.
Lady Gaga is next on stage, performing her new single. The most shocking thing she could do at this point is show up in jeans and a T-shirt. Suffice to say, that's not what she's wearing.
Lauren walks out and starts singing "Before He Cheats," and of course Carrie Underwood joins her on stage for a duet.
Beyonce returns to sing "One Plus One." Then Bono and The Edge perform while one of the stars of the Spider-Man musical sings -- and a stuntman in a Spider-Man costume bounces all over the room. I surely wasn't the only one waiting for him to get injured. (He doesn't.)
We're supposedly 6 minutes from the end of this thing, but look, Steven Tyler just sat down at the piano to sing "Dream On." It's just the short version, though. Oh, and the show is going to 10:07.
I think it's about time, as Scotty and Lauren are standing on stage with Ryan looking like they're trying not to barf/cry/both. The winner of American Idol 10 is Scotty McCreery.
Not a big surprise to me. What do you think?
Note: I'm on vacation through Monday, so Reality Check is going radio silent for a few days. I'll be posting comments, but not new posts. Just a heads up. Thanks! And many thanks to Janell for the able (and hilarious) assist with recapping this season!