Now the show is right on schedule, and there's time to debut the song that the People of America helped write. I remember this contest! I remember imploring the People of America not to write anything, but apparently they didn't listen. So that guy Taio Cruz is onstage with a neon marching band, lasers, and a lot of autotune. The vocals cut out a few times, but basically Taio is gonna be positive. He's gonna be so positive, over and over, that he's never not gonna be positive, because there's just no time, what with all the being positive going on. Remember in the past seasons when the finalists had to sing the original song, and they kept trying to tell us what a great song it was? "No, not like the song from last year," they'd promise, "and definitely not like the song before that, this is a really great
original song." And it was always a lie. So I was expecting Scotty and Lauren to sing this song next, and I could not picture it because neither of them quite fits into the neon drum/laser/autotune genre, you know? But it would have been awesome to see.