In the continuation of Dancing With the Stars' "Guilty Pleasures week, tonight's results show opens with a performance by NKOTBSB (that's a mashup of New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys). Look, I get nostalgia for the crushes of one's bygone youth, but seriously: There's a reason they are called "boy bands."
Moving on, before I get hate mail from a couple of my dear friends.
Results: Romeo and Chelsie Hightower are the first to learn they are safe. But their compadres on stage, Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas, are safe too, which they are told quite quickly.
Tonight's reprisal is Kendra and Louis' syncopated samba. Shake shake shake.
More results: Hines Ward and Kym Johnson are safe, and Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are too.
Tonight's Macy's Stars of Dance performance was choreographed by Christopher Scott and is inspired by the royal wedding, or so we are told. The first part, featuring some darling little kids, is beyond adorable. And I'm pretty sure the little girl is Kendall Glover from Live to Dance. Am I crazy?
Then, BSB is back (all right!) with a medley along with NKOTB.
The next musical interlude is a performance by ousted American Idol contestant Pia Toscano, singing "I'll Stand by You," with an accompanying dance by Mark Ballas (RUMOR ALERT) and Karina Smirnoff. After the performance, Tom Bergeron asks Pia whether Mark is a good kisser, and she answers that he is a wonderful person.
More results: Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel are safe, and the last two couples (Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff and Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke) are made to wait. Of course.
At long last, the results: The ousted couple is Chris and Cheryl, which makes me a very bad predictor indeed.
What do you think about the results?
Even Chris says that it wasn't his best week, and also that the timing was good since he needs to fly out to England for the royal wedding. Hee hee! He adds: "It's time for Chris Jericho the dancer to step aside and Chris Jericho the daddy to come back."