It's time to look back on American Idol. Remember when these top 7 contestants auditioned? In my notes I wrote top 6, because I was optimistic and forgot Lauren. These flashbacks and a caption are replacing Ryan's usual dramatic pause introduction. Are words on a screen more exciting? They lack a certain je ne sais cheese factor. Yeah, I just made that up and it probably doesn't make any sense.
Ooh, J.Lo has busted out the booty shorts! At last! They're very sequined, with a matching top, and she looks great. Randy Jackson is wearing some black and white cardigan. Steven Tyler's opaque shirt of the night has giant orchid petals on it (were they really orchids? I don't know). He's also sporting a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek, courtesy of his daughter Mia.
Tonight's theme is Music of the 21st Century. I initially thought that meant the 1900s. You guys, that's like the 5th mistake my brain has made tonight and there hasn't even been any singing yet. I didn't feed it enough sugar today. Sorry, brain. So the show is bringing back Ashthon, Karen, Naima, Thia, Pia, and Paul to sing Pink's "So What." First, "Pia, Thia, and Paul" is a great group name. Second, Naima is working her wiggly body. Third, Karen looks good in her tight pants. Fourth, Paul and Pia get to stand behind the judges and emote extra hard. Fifth, it sounded meh. Since I don't recap the results shows, I always skip the group numbers because I find them challenging. (SKK: Awwww, the group numbers have actually been a LOT better this season. Well, except for this one. Who thought Paul would sound remotely decent singing Pink???) Anyway, nice to see you all! Hey look, in the audience, it's that guy! That one with the hair and the nose!
The introduction packages will have the housemates describing each other. Scotty is up first, so thankfully everyone makes fun of how he holds the microphone and wiggles his eyebrows. Scotty jokes that he holds the mike like a flute. He'll be singing "Swingin'" by LeAnn Rimes. It's country, but more uptempo than usual, almost bluesy. Scotty struts around the stage, making eyes at the camera. He sings one verse extra low, for the ladies. He's got charisma, I give him that, and he has fun. I elect him the new good-time guy, now that Paul's gone. Steven Tyler loves his voice, and would like him to boot scoot some more. Jennifer Lopez loves the storytelling quality of his singing, but now it's time to pull out the big guns and move past his comfort zone. Randy Jackson points out that, at this point in the competition, Scotty should bring it hard, but instead it was safe and boring.