Welcome to "The Night the Ladies Answer Back." I wasn't aware that there was a question needing an answer, but that's what Ryan Seacrest said, so I have to believe it. In a quick pan of the ladies, they all look sparkly. The judges come out, Jennifer Lopez is wearing a short silver sparkly dress with thigh-high boots. Steven Tyler is wearing a rugged brown jacket and shredded pants with sunglasses. Randy Jackson fails to be a rock star in his colorful cardigan. I paused my Tivo to see their outfits, and you know what? I still think Steven Tyler is hot. I don't think I've put that out there for a few weeks, and I don't want the universe to forget it. I'm so happy to see him, in his hotness, on my tv.
Ryan asks the judges some meaningless questions. When he gets to Steven, the crowd screams a lot. "I don't have a question," Ryan says, "I just wanted to hear them cheer." But then he lets Steven talk about a full moon coming on, and the girls needing to sing like it's their encore.
Ta-Tynisa Wilson kicks things off. I swear there was no hyphen before tonight. She's wearing a black mini party dress with a full skirt, singing Rihanna's "Only Girl in the World." I think she's a little nervous and her voice doesn't sound strong enough. She struts around a lot. Steven Tyler says she sang it beautifully and he liked it a lot. Oh no, is he going to be blandly complimentary to everyone? He's freakin' Steven Tyler, man, I want awesome from him. Although it is nice that he's sweet, too, I guess. Harumph. Jennifer Lopez says that it started shaky, but she brought it home and played to the crowd. Randy Jackson: "I got a feeling this will happen a lot to me this season, disagreeing with my fellow judges." He says it was just okay, not special or different. I guess Randy is stepping up to be the voice of reason and criticism, since Steven and J.Lo are just handing out rainbows and bunny rabbits to everyone. Jennifer likes to talk over Randy, and she says, "Being a performer is about moving the crowd, and she moved the crowd." Randy: "I was part of the crowd, and I wasn't moved." Ryan: "I've known you for ten years, and with all due respect, it takes a lot to move you." Ah, now Ryan will try to mock Randy as he once lovingly mocked Simon. I can see people stepping into their roles.