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Janell reports on last night's Live to Dance finale. Strike a pose:

Welcome to the finale of Live to Dance! Actually, technically, the finale was last week, and this is just the results show. Soon, probably in about 58 minutes, America's Favorite Dance Act (as determined by the 2,753 People of America who voted) will be named and awarded $500,000.

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Since this is the end of our journey together, let's take a moment and reflect. Ponder, even. I remember lo those many weeks ago when Paula Abdul made people chant her name and dance to her songs while she and a Newsies cast member and woman with sideways hair pushed buttons that made "ding!" sounds. It was a fair and accurate representation of the diversity of dance groups across America (or within a short driving distance of Los Angeles and New York), including the old but not feeble, the young but not unskilled, the many shades of mediocre, plus a bonus smattering of shirtless men. I couldn't wait for this show to change the world. Unfortunately, unless the current Snowpocalypse can be directly linked to this show, I am still waiting. I will end this meandering paragraph with a few lessons I have learned: 1) Always include proper punctuation in the name of your dance crew; 2) More is less, except when it is enough; 3) Pandering will get you approximately halfway; and 4) I have a healthy appreciation of shirtless men. Now let's jump in, shall we?

Whoa, do Andrew's pants seem surprisingly tight tonight? Sorry, I wasn't prepared for that. Look, flashbacks! Look, the experts! Andrew asks them vapid questions. Kimberly feels America's pain in having to decide.

Ooh, all six dance acts are now performing together! To the Live to Dance theme song, hmm. Lots of sequins. Kendall is wearing a pink K on her unitard. Anthony! has on sparkly pants and he is unfortunately wearing a shirt (right after I type that, he lifts it up to flash all the overage women in the viewing audience [and I wonder if he reads these recaps and if he's aiming for me, because the world revolves around me] [Hi Anthony! Sorry I abandoned you for Dance Town Chaos last week, I still love you!]). Then he and Kendall get synchronized together for a bit and it's cool. Here's some Dance Town Chaos guys with their eye masks, dancing around Amanda, while D'Angelo leads Kendall and some Vibers. White Tree Fine Art is separate because their style doesn't totally mesh with the others. Oh, I forgot to mention that DTC is shirtless. Then they all strike a pose. I wish they gave shout outs to the choreographer, that was really fun and well done. Hey, wait, Andrew says that Paula choreographed it, good for her! I think Paula needs to work more in the dance world and less in the judging world. While Andrew leads us out into commercial, some Vibers are getting dancey with some Chaosers. I think they should all go out for frosty beverages afterwards.

After the break, we get more flashbacks and recaps. Andrew reveals the top 3. He has to wait out a dramatic pause while everyone gets a close-up. The first act is WTFA. Hmm, that abbreviation doesn't quite work. Next is D'Angelo and Amanda, and I worry to my husband that I'm about to lose one of my shirtless-man acts. The last safe act is Kendall. Hey! I lost all my pretty shirtless boys, what's wrong with the People of America? Then we get specific flashbacks of the losing groups.

The top 3 will now dance again, starting with D'Angelo and Amanda. The giant projection wall shows them behind the dancing, cool but overkill. They dance to 2 songs, which I hate. They're good, but I think they're feeling a little tired. But good for them. Paula calls them technical geniuses and she thanks their parents. She also wants them to be turned into bobblehead dolls.

Now we get a montage of the experts commenting on things. These flashbacks would mean more if the show had been on longer than 7 weeks. Oh look, remember that girl? And that one? And the stories of love? And the stories of heartbreak? Now we're back live, and Andrew is in the audience pointing out Bev and Hap and Dax and Sarah! I'm glad the show gave them another vacation. Chi-Town Finest Breakers is there, too, and Andrew does some filler interview until finally revealing that Chrysler is giving their family A New Car! It gets very Price is Right as they go over to the car and check it out. Andrew needs some Barker's Beauties to wave their arms around. Are they still called Barker's Beauties? I haven't watched the show without Bob.

White Tree Fine Art performs again. Her gray outfit looks familiar, and they're dancing to someone's version of Hallelujah. Wasn't this their initial semifinal number? Yes, there's the silk drape from the ceiling. Guess what? Kimberly still loves ballet.

Kendall Glover dances again, reprising her Firework number. The first time I heard this song was when she danced to it a few weeks ago, but then I heard it on Glee last night, so I guess it's a popular song. I still don't know who sings it, that's how hip I am. (SKK: Psst, it's Katy Perry.)

Now we flashback to the auditions. Remember all that? While we watch everything we've already seen (and I've already recapped), I'll randomly assume that D'Angelo and Amanda reprised one of their old routines as well. Hmm, still flashing back. Did you know that my cat sits on my wrists while I type this? She's demonstrating her dominance, and I'm demonstrating my typing agility.

Oh, flashbacks are over, and Andrew eliminates the 3rd place act: White Tree Fine Art. I think we've already flashed back to all of their highlights, but I suppose it's time to do it again. Farewell, air kisses.

It's down to 3 kids. I guess the People of America are suckers for tenacious youngsters. Kendall is really looking nervous. More flashbacks of the top 2 acts. I think it will be D'Angelo and Amanda because of their argumentative dating relationship. Paula weeps while she gives them final words. She pulls out a paper to read a speech to the choreographers and teachers and parents, which is really nice. I think we needed to see more of the choreographers.

And the winner is … D'Angelo and Amanda. There are fireworks onstage, and their parents freak out. I hope Kendall gets something for second place, she's had to tough this out on her own the whole time. Then the judges come onstage and lift up all the kids. It's fun when kids win! Yay!

So, were you surprised? I was surprised when Dance Town Chaos wasn't in the top 3. After that, it was easy to see that the People of America were swayed by the cute stories. Not that D'Angelo and Amanda didn't deserve it. Hopefully we'll see them again in 10 years dominating the world of dance. Now I'd like to see Paula do some choreography on So You Think You Can Dance. Hear that, Paula? I'm calling you out.

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