When pigskin pundits talk about "all three phases of the game," special teams is football's Fredo Corleone. Its Chris Bosh. Its Khloe Kardashian. Its Spinderella of Salt-N-Pepa, if you will.
All three phases are not created equally, which is why punters are rarely drafted into the NFL, long snappers never get fan mail and impressive records by venture capitalists turned Pro Bowl kickers get little, if any, love on the highlight shows.
For the highlight-crazed "Madden" generation, nothing is, well, special about strong special-teams play.
Just make sure you don't tell an angry Brendon Ayanbadejo that the NFL is only about head-hunters and Pro Bowl runners, not pooch punters and no-name gunners.
Think about it. Really, how often are these guys on the field? Well, of the Ravens' 2,323 plays this season, only 12.8 percent were of the special-teams variety.
But that 12.8 percent of action you spent staring at a bathroom wall or getting another beer is more than likely what got the 12-4 Ravens, who won eight games by a touchdown or less, into the postseason.
Thanks in large part to the fancy footwork of kicker Billy Cundiff and punter Sam Koch, the Ravens are among the league leaders when it comes to their opponents' average starting field position, and they are one of seven teams that didn't allow a return touchdown during the regular season.
That unit's execution was excellent again Sunday. Meanwhile, the Bengals' special-teams bungles -- a shanked field goal, a 20-yard punt and a kickoff out of bounds -- helped the offensively challenged Ravens salvage an ugly 13-7 win.
Cundiff, the venture capitalist turned Pro Bowl kicker, booted two touchbacks against Cincinnati to tie Mitch Berger's single-season mark of 40 set back in 1994. But Cundiff hit the big four-oh in 33 fewer attempts, forcing the opposing returner to take a knee on 50.6 percent of his kickoffs.
"I think that tells you how impressive that record really is," Ravens coach John Harbaugh said, pointing out that Berger set the record "indoors with the old balls."
And we all remember how dangerous Berger was with those old balls, don't we?
The ovation Cundiff's record touchback got at M&T Bank Stadium was among the loudest Sunday, though I guess fans got a chance to rest their vocal cords while the Ravens offense was on the field.
Cundiff, who made 26 of his 29 field goal attempts in 2010, wasn't the only one punishing the football Sunday. Koch was, as the old proverb goes, punting like a man scorned by Pro Bowl voters.
"Sam Koch, for sure, has had a Pro Bowl year," Harbaugh said last week after Koch was left off the AFC's Pro Bowl roster. The longtime Ravens punter was second in the league with 39 punts inside the opponents' 20-yard line, and he finished tied for fourth in the NFL in net punting average.
The Ravens' special-teams success isn't limited to the guys with the funny shoes. The coverage teams have tackled well, Lardarius Webb has stabilized the punt-return situation and David Reed leads the NFL in kickoff-return average.
Put it all together, and the Ravens' third wheel -- that dominant 12.8 percent -- was the team's most consistent unit during the regular season. It could again be a difference-maker in the playoffs starting Sunday against the Chiefs.
That's why fans might want to consider saving the trips to the toilet and the fridge for when the Ravens offense is on the field.
