As usual, the Dancing With the Stars results show kicks off quickly and gets right down to it, revealing the fates of the bottom two couples, Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer and Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas.

First, we get clips from last night's competition, which includes slowed-down footage of Bristol forgetting her steps. Some commenters responding to last night's recap thought that I had some sort of political bias in pointing this out, but sorry, folks, it's the truth: She forgot the steps. She admits it herself. So, no, I was not being political there. Can we all move on now? Great, thanks.


The first couple safe is Kyle and Lacey. Bristol and Mark are also safe, and they look super-shocked.

Len Goodman announces the evening's reprisal, which is Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy's adorable quickstep, which was definitely her strongest moment of the season so far.

Goofy clip of the night is a faux commercial for a DVD of dance training by Bruno Tonioli. Can't we just cut this down to a half-hour?

The evening's musical guest is Jason Derulo (and in case you don't know that, don't worry; he always name-checks himself).

Oh, wait. The faux commercials aren't over. Now there's one for "Easy Steps," feet that stick to the floor and show you how to dance (and open pickle jars and deodorize the fridge and so on).

More results: Brandy and Maks are safe, while Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough are in jeopardy Oh, please. You know how they always say that the couples in jeopardy aren't necessarily the bottom three couples. Yeah. That's totally happening here.

Next, we meet some special guests in the audience, a woman named Bernadette and her five sons who came here from the Congo. The boys love to dance and perform together. Their father was assassinated, and Bernadette managed to get her family out of the country and save them. As a surprise to their mother, the boys are getting the chance to perform on the show tonight. They do the cha cha with several of the pros, and their mom looks so stunned. It's very sweet.

More results:  Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya are safe, and Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke are in jeopardy.

Then there's another fake commercial, this one featuring The Hoff.

Turns out there is another musical guest tonight, and it's Shakira and a bunch of dancers, and for some reason they are clad in sparkly Hammer pants. This is not a cute look. After the break, Jason Derulo returns to sing "Georgia on My Mind." He does not name-check himself during this performance, making a liar out of me.

More results: Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani are safe; Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas are in jeopardy.

Final 'DWTS' results for Week 4

Jennifer and Derek are safe. The couple eliminated is Florence and Corky, meaning Rick and Cheryl are safe.

Bummer, Mrs. Brady! And on TV theme week, too. Florence says she has been in TV for more than 50 years, and that this is one of the best produced shows she's been on, best crew, best hair, makeup, costumes. And she loves "this darling man, Corky Ballas." Tom says they've known each other a long time and that he's loved the childlike glee she's brought to the show. She adds that she hopes she's inspired some people to get up off the couch.