I'm still shocked, but tonight's reprisal on Dancing With the Stars is The Situation and Karina's futuristic foxtrot to the Black Eyed Peas. Is this an abrupt beginning to this recap? It was like that for the episode, too.
Results: Three couples are on the stage, and Brooke introduces a clip package, but someone has cued up the wrong thing, because it's clips of Brandy, Rick and Jennifer, and none of them are on stage. Whoops. Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani learn that they're safe. Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya are safe, too. Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer are still in jeopardy. Maybe it's because they didn't know who the Eagles are.
After the break, Ne-Yo performs. He evidently got the memo that it's story week because there are lots of props and extras. Then Donny Osmond interviews fans in Las Vegas about how they feel about the show so far this season. It's very "Jaywalking," if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Results: So maybe they didn't realize the problem with the clips package? Brooke again announces that they're going to see how things went for the couples on stage, but they show the clips for Audrina, Kyle and Tony. I know they had to show this film, but they should have acknowledged the problem. After the clips, though, Tom makes a silly joke that doesn't quite acknowledge it. Anyway, Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough are safe. Then, fakeout, Brooke says the next couple in jeopardy is Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke, who clearly have misheard and start celebrating. D'oh. Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are safe. And confused.
Next up is a battle of the dance and the strings between longtime competitors Mark Ballas and Val Chmerkovskiy -- they're dancing, and Mark's playing guitar and Val's playing violin. Cue the trash-talking. The string battle starts, and they're playing Britney Spears' Toxic, which cracks me up for some reason. They're just being so intense, and then it's ... Britney. I'll admit it: This was pretty fun, and they're both talented dudes.
Then, in the space that was supposed to be occupied by Susan Boyle, Michael Bolton shows up to sing, and he sings the same song that Susan was going to, Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. At first, this really confuses me because it seems like it's seriously stealing her thunder for after she gets better. But of course, this is a highly produced number with the professionals dancing to the song. And there's also a children's choir. And a LOT of smoke. So it makes much more sense now.
Results: The next group of finalists actually gets the right clips package! The Situation and Karina Smirnoff are safe. Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas are in jeopardy. Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas are safe. Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel are in jeopardy, too.
Montage of emotional craziness on the show. It's a rollercoaster! Duh.
In jeopardy are Bristol and Mark, Kyle and Lacey, Rick and Cheryl and Margaret and Louis. Kyle and Lacey are safe. So are Rick and Cheryl.
The ousted couple is Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel, meaning Bristol and Mark are safe.
Bummer. I thought she could have turned out to be pretty good (but last night she was not).
Next week, they're having "acoustic week, unplugged and in the round." Hmm.
Photo courtesy of ABC