Every time a new club boasts about bringing a Miami flavor to Baltimore, it flops.
That's because what works in South Florida is too ostentatious for Charm City, just as Baltimore's quirks would almost definitely be dismissed as weird in the swamp.
John Waters' Egg Lady is another kooky denizen here, but an oddity in the runway-like promenades of South Beach. Just the same, Miami's drink prices would be scoffed at in Charles Village.
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In keeping with this week's nightlife column, here's a primer on two cities that are as different as Waters and Chad Ochocinco: