Really, I almost feel like anyone could be going home on tonight's results show, the first of this season of Dancing With the Stars.
The live results show starts with a heavily produced musical number with the pros dancing to the music of Santana, who is performing "Oye Como Va."
Then, they recap last night's show, even though they spent the 8 p.m.-9 p.m. hour recapping the show. I hate that about these results shows.
Anyway, results: Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower and Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel are safe, both of which are semi-surprising.
I'm running a little behind because I was at the office late, so, to be honest, I'm fast-forwarding through the Adam Carrolla segment.
Next up, Daughtry performs its new single, "September."
More results: Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough are safe, as are Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke.
Then Santana and guest vocalist India.Arie perform their new single together, "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." Well, the song isn't exactly new, but this collaboration is.
Montage of socializing among the cast. Aww, they all love each other. FOR NOW!
More results: Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani and Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas are safe. Six couples are still in jeopardy.
Now the previous musical guests play a mix-and-match game and Santana performs "Photograph" with Chris Daughtry.
Montage of the pros talking, which includes such revelations as "someone has to go home first every season" and "my partner depends on me."
They set everyone who's left up on stage, cut to break, then come back, and they're all backstage. Brooke interviews them, and then they come back on stage. What the heck? Just get to the results already!
Results, at last: Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are safe. So are Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas. A-NO-ther break. Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya learn they are safe. So are The Situation and Karina Smirnoff, who look shocked. This leaves David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson and Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer. Weirdly, they start interviewing Kyle's family about whether he's going home. Oh, then they talk to The Hoff's daughters, too.
The first couple ousted from this season of Dancing With the Stars is David Hasselhoff and Kym Johnson. I guess the Germans didn't get a vote.
What do you think about the results?