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TEARS OF A CLOWN: Despite his waterworks on stage, I'm nowhere close to thinking Chris Brown (right) is good guy. Not even an "enough already" royal decree from Queen Latifah is changing my mind.

SENATOR ASKS SUPREME COURT NOMINEE IF SHE'S ON TEAM EDWARD OR TEAM JACOB: I'm now on Team Fire the Whole Senate.

WELCOME RETURN: A mother-son alcoholic duo + an unrepentant grandma = saddest season premiere of "Intervention" ever.

KIM KARDASHIAN GETS A WAX FIGURE IN NEW YORK: The city's nickname is the Big Apple after all.

BIGGEST SUMMER CHALLENGE: Getting up the courage to try smoked salmon flavored vodka.

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POWER DOWN: Dear Forbes: I get why Oprah is No. 1 on your " 100 Power Celebs" list, but Jeff Dunham makes the cut? I'm moving to Europe.

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO THE BET AWARDS: Doesn't mean you can wear this, Brittany Daniel (left)

NOT VERY PC: Jason Bateman's cutting-in-line-for-an-iPhone controversy

BEST WEDDING I'M SURE I WAS MISTAKENLY NOT INVITED TO: Dominic West's (McNulty!). Bunk and Bubbles were there. I think Snoop was a bridesmaid.

OZZY OSBOURNE ASKS SCIENTISTS TO DISCOVER WHY HE HASN'T DIED YET: Even weirder news: He's writing a health advice column for a London newspaper. For reals.

JESSICA SIMPSON'S 'PRICE OF BEAUTY' SHOW TO 'BE RETOOLED': So, Nick Lachey's joining the cast?

ARETHA FRANKLIN AND CONDOLEEZZA RICE TO DUET: My requests: "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and "Freeway of Love"

BEST 'TWILIGHT'-RELATED PRODUCT: "Edward Cullen Tampon Case" by "TaishaMc-Gee" on etsy.com. "Edward's face is sparkly. Tampons not included."

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Follow him on Twitter: @jordanbartel.

Photos by AP

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