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BREAKING THE BANK: "Twilight's" top three stars (L-R: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, photo by AP) could make $40 million — each! — for last film in the series. We should force BP to pay for their salaries, too.

GLENN BECK STARTS $9.95/MONTH VIRTUAL UNIVERSITY: CliffsNotes for the institution: conservatism, religion, Reagan, conservatism, George Washington, crying

KARA DIOGUARDI LETTING 'NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE' WHEN IT COMES TO CHILDREN:
Here's hoping nature seriously thinks things over.

MEN AT WORK TO FORK OVER 'DOWN UNDER' ROYALTIES:
Guest joke from b staffer Adam Sapiro: "Yeah, but they'll pay in Vegemite, right?"

ELLE MACPHERSON DENIES RHINO HORN TREATMENT: It’s the cure-all of choice for 19th-century poachers.

QUITTER: Alec Baldwin wanting to leave “30 Rock” makes me feel dead inside.

LINDSAY BEING LINDSAY: Anyone surprised by Lindsay Lohan's profane fingernail message hasn't read anything about her in five years.

EAU DE BRUCE
: Bruce Willis’ new fragrance is called “Bruce Willis.” Finally, I can say “Bruce Willis” when asked what I smell like.

SWALLOWING PRIDE: I begrudgingly like Mike Posner’s song “Cooler Than Me” (above) even though he went to Duke.

BEST PRELIMINARILY ORGASMIC ‘INCEPTION’ REVIEW: “After Inception was over, I grabbed the film reel and f---ed it. That’s how much I loved this movie.” — Aziz Ansari, predicting his reaction, on Twitter

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Follow him on Twitter: @jordanbartel.

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