MCW: The Schmuckdown

I'm going to admit right here that I got ambushed by Kevin Eck on Tuesday night on WBAL. I never had any intention of getting into the ring with him. I mean, do you know what that peroxide he's got all over his head will do to a good Tommy Bahama? Now, I have to defend the honor of The Schmuck Stops Here at the Maryland Championship Wrestling Shamrock Cup Show on July 31 in beautiful downtown Dundalk.

Clearly, Kevin can't even take a little ribbing. Check out this video he made for his wrestling blog. The guy -- and his readers -- are obsessed with me, which I would totally understand if they were women. Not a lot of guys out there with my combination of physical attractiveness, intelligence, sense of humor and raw athleticism, so I'll understand if Mickie James has trouble keeping her hands off me that night.

Really, fellas, I've enjoyed the running commentary about my chances in the six-man tag team match, but it's not like I'm going out there alone, though I probably could muddle through myself if necessary. I may be the only person in the arena who can read and write, so I might even change the script at the last minute.