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GOTTA MENTION LILO: Looks like the courtroom artist gave Lindsay Lohan new boobs to go with her handcuffs. (courtroom drawing right, courtesy of AP)

JUST ONE MORE LINDSAY LOHAN JOKE: People headline: "Jail Hell: No Smoking, Tweeting or Hair Extensions." Those rank just above the threat of shanking and gang rape.

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KIM KARDASHIAN MAKES $5.45 MILLION A YEAR: I'm seriously rethinking that whole college degree thing.

RUMORED NEW COUPLE: JANUARY JONES AND 'SNL'S' JASON SUDEIKIS:
They join Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen in the odd "Mad Men"/"SNL" romances club. Here's hoping for Kristen Wiig and Christina Hendricks. 

BEST CHEER-YOU-UP VIDEO (ABOVE): The pug who says "Batman" when it barks

LIFETIME'S 'THE CLIENT LIST' GETS RECORD RATINGS: It just proves that we all want Jennifer Love Hewitt to be a high-end call girl.

ICE-T BUSTED FOR DRIVING WITHOUT A SEAT BELT:
He's now approaching Snoop Dogg Gone Soft territory.

ASHER ROTH TWEETS ABOUT THE U.S. MINT LOSING $22 MILLION MAKING PENNIES AND NICKELS:
Don't push it, Asher. You may have to gather coins soon.

'SCARFACE 2' MAY BE IN THE WORKS:
Time to make room for one more poster on your wall, every rapper alive.

SERIAL MODEL-DATER LEONARDO DICAPRIO COMPLAINS WOMEN WANT HIM 'FOR ONLY ONE REASON': And you only date models for their European literature expertise, right Leo?

MILEY CYRUS 'DOESN'T LISTEN TO CRITICISM' BECAUSE HER MUSIC'S 'THE ART THAT I'M DOING': Whatever you're doing, Miley, I'm pretty sure it's not "art."

SUMMARY OF MY THOUGHTS THIS WEEK: "Mad Men," "Mad Men," family, friends, "Mad Men!!!"

RUBBED THE WRONG WAY: The crop of masseuses joining forces to accuse Al Gore of assault. Did anyone see that coming?

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Follow him on Twitter: @jordanbartel.

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