As Laura Vozzella correctly pointed out in today's column, the 90th birthday "roast" of former Gov. Marvin Mandel was ... not funny -- even though Mandel was a prime candidate for roasting:
Cheers to Franchot for trying. What the Mandel affair lacked in humor (see? it's easy!), it made up for in heartfelt tributes. But here are a few other funnies I jotted down before falling asleep.
"I'm here representing all living Maryland Republican governors." -- Former Gov. Robert L. Ehrlich Jr.
"I've always thought, if he keeps smoking that pipe, it's going to shorten his life ... He's not going to live past 115." -- U.S. Rep. Steny Hoyer, on Mandel's best-known habit, which he gave up years ago.
"Ive' been to so many of these things that I think my lips are permanently printed on his rear end." -- Senate President Thomas V. Mike Miller, the emcee.
"If you tell any lies about me, I'm going to tell the truth about you." -- Mandel, thanking his roasters for being kind.