Stefen Lovelace returns with this week's recap of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Fresh Meat II. MTV can't seem to decide whether to use the Roman numeral, but since this show is all about class (read on and judge for yourself!), I'll go with II over 2. Take it away, Stefen:
Wednesday's Challenge opened with all of the cast members partying. There was wrestling, binge drinking, making out and nudity. A very solid start to the episode.
Danny starts getting emotional, and confides in Mandi that Wes is his best friend and he's like a brother to him. That's some great foreshadowing to how this episode will play out.
At this point in the season, Wes is running out of people to screw over. His alliance is so large now, that he has to start picking off his own people to survive. Enter Danny!
Wes makes the executive decision that Danny needs to go. Evelyn agrees. Wes' case is "it's not doing him, his wife or his future any good by sitting around this house for another two weeks." Agreed, although I'm pretty sure going on a Challenge every six months, not winning any money, and refusing to get a real job is doing that same damage.
Wes relays this to Danny, who proves he's not a complete ignoramus and realizes he's getting backstabbed. Tension ensues. Wes continues to make his case by stating that if Danny and Sandy aren't the worst team, they're debatably the second-worst team. You stay classy, Wes.
The challenge involves teams climbing up a long rope ladder to a platform, then both team members jumping onto a boxing punching bag and hanging on it above water for five seconds. Fastest team wins.
Evelyn and Luke go first, and Evelyn immediately falls, to which Kenny quips, "For someone that claims to be the most competitive person here, you are really, really stupid." Harsh, but fair.
Ev and Luke end up getting DQ'd, as do Carley and Landon. CJ and Sydney finish, and seem to be getting better each episode (who knew?). Wes and Mandi also finish with a pretty good time.
It's Danny and Sandy's turn. Their stay pretty much rests on this performance. Danny surprisingly makes it to the punching bag, but eventually falls when Sandy is too afraid to jump. He then says "I don't know what hurt more, the belly flop or my pride." Probably the belly flop, dude. You're fat.
Ryan and Theresa surprisingly destroy this challenge. So do Jenn and Noor. It's looking like we may have some new blood in the winner's circle this time around …
Pete and Jillian continue to be the most dysfunctional team. Pete makes it to the punching bag and advises Jillian to jump on his back. Right. That's a good idea. She declines his silly request and they get DQ'd.
Kenny and Laurel dominate again and end up winning for an unprecedented fourth time out of five tries. In most sports, this would be about the time that the general public would demand they be drug tested for performance-enhancing drugs. But, luckily for us, the Challenge encourages this type of behavior.
Danny and Sandy know they're going in and Danny wants to face Ryan and Theresa. Wes said earlier he wants to protect his "friend" Ryan. Obviously. It has nothing to do with the fact that Ryan's partnered with Wes' current side-piece Theresa. No seriously, it doesn't.
Kenny and Laurel select Danny and Sandy. The real reason is because they're awful, but Danny believes it's because his best friend Wes stabbed him in the back (probably both true). Wes' alliance decides to vote in Jillian and Pete, and Jillian responds with, "So you want Danny to go home?" Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
They get to the exile, and Pete in all of his genius, gets confused with the first puzzle since it's different than the one they did last time they were in the exile. I'm pretty sure things like walking and chewing gum at the same time confuse Pete. Danny and Sandy get an early lead.
Danny and Sandy fly through the puzzles and keep their lead. After the fourth puzzle, Sandy really starts to get fatigued, and Jillian and Pete narrow the gap. Pete makes a surprisingly tactical move by carrying Jillian's weighted backpack for the final stretch of the exile. This allows them to sprint, and they end up narrowly defeating Danny and Sandy (by about 30 seconds) to stay on the show. Judging by how close this was, and how close Paula and Jeff were to winning an exile a couple of episodes ago, you really can't underestimate anyone on these exiles.
After the exile, Danny ends up saying he'll always be there for Wes. Awww. Sweet. The show ends with Jenn hooking up with Pete. Well deserved for Pete after surviving his second exile.
Random Notes from this Week's episode
-- Jenn continues to be this generation's Veronica. She dropped gems this episode like, "Pete's 21 and he's cute," and, "Pete and I don't like to talk," (she rather just make out with him). Jenn claims she just likes to make out with Pete and sleep in his bed. Riiight.
-- When Danny realized he was getting thrown in, he said that, "if and when I come back, I'm jumping ship," meaning he would leave his current alliance. That's like me telling Sarah that, "If and when MTV reaches out to me and offers me an exclusive position to write about the Challenge for them, I'll no longer write for this blog." Sure, it sounds cool. But it's so entirely unrealistic that it really just makes you laugh when people say it. I know I laughed when Danny said it.
-- Luke is a legitimate spider monkey. Anything involving climbing, he dominates. I wonder if he used to just party and climb tall trees back in Oregon.
-- The best quote of this episode goes to Noor. When Carley fell into the water in the challenge, he said that she "made the sound of a pregnant manatee or a dying whale." It's really no wonder that he's my favorite character on this show.
-- Not only did Wes backstab his good friend in this show, but after it was over, he said that he didn't screw over Danny and he hopes that Danny can call him and apologize for being [a jerk] when they get home. That is just fantastic. No additional joke needed.
-- I met a girl last weekend at the bar that was Landon's pen pal in third grade. No lie. Needless to say, my mind was blown. I had so many questions. Was Landon a dominant athlete even at 8? Did he seem nice, but easily manipulated? Did his letters rule early on, but as the school year progressed, they became worse and worse? I am waaaaay too into this show.
(Photo of Wes and Danny courtesy of MTV)