So it's come to this. The finale -- or rather, the LIVE finale.....will it be the surprisingly together Bret Michaels or will it be the shockingly nasty Holly Robinson Peete? Diabetes versus autism? Compassion berry Snapple versus some tropical flavor, Trop-a-Rocka?
Somehow Trump has managed to fill a pretty large auditorium with audience members ostensibly interested in answers to those flaccid questions. Which can only mean that between the studio audience and everyone else on the planet watching the finale of Lost, I might be the only person alive watching at home.....
I miss Rod Blagojevich!
Bret is wearing an Ed Hardy T-shirt when he talks to the camera but a plain T-shirt in the scenes. He's concerned about filming his commercial in time, but of course it's nothing serious (or interesting) and the work gets done. Perhaps he worked up a sweat worrying and had to change into a fugly Ed Hardy Jon Gosselin special. Even though Bret -- and everyone on Holly's team is wearing tank tops and T-shirts, Ivanka shows up to check on everyone in a long, faux fur black coat. What's with that? Doesn't she get sweaty like Bret?
Bret does finally make a seemingly serious goof by forgetting his script when he leaves the studio. He needs it for editing... But who knows... this is all on video and we keep flashing back to Trump in the LIVE studio where he promises all of the celebs will be making appearances....which would be exciting if, you know, they were even at all fun to watch on the regular season.....
Over at Team Holly, Curtis has a buddy who's getting married and wants to leave for dinner. Holly's a bit peeved. Who knows where Maria is....
Oooh, wait! It's Blago!! He's back along with Carol, Sinbad, Cyndi, etc.... He's all falling-over thankful to Trump for putting him on the show...because he sooo wanted to "establish his innocence" and "fight back." The audience laughs. And then Rod laughs. He's so full of extreme crap that it's honestly amazing. He even laughs at his own crap!
Cyndi's hair is awesome -- an electric explosion of curls. Like Medusa, if Medusa had peroxide.
When Maria comes back we of course have to review her comments about Curtis stinking up her bathroom. Of course NOW she realizes she should not have said that, she says. (Oh well, too late.) Darryl is wearing a pinstripe gangster suit.
Back to the challenge. Holly shows her commercial and it looks pretty good. Her presentation seems smooth, too. Oh my, it's time for Bret's challenge and the Ed Hardy T-shirt is back. He's nervous and awkward at first and then warms up considerably. (His daughter rain, who's in the audience, is a cutie.) His commercial is much quirkier than Holly's. Hers seems more like a traditional Snapple ad though. When Trump asks the crowd who they like better, it's polite applause for Holly and robust woops for Bret. But that just affirms who we all like more... not necessarily the winner... HOWEVER, since it is a live finale, Trump has had time to gage the popular tea leaves and Bret has been in the news a ton lately for his health so he will get a lot more mileage out of a Bret win.... and Trump is nothing if not opportunistic, right?
Back to the boardroom (not the LIVE one), Trump says he'll give $25K to Darryl's charity cause he came back and hadn't won anything. Like Holly's, his is an autism foundation. Then it's minutes and minutes of the usual -- Trump asking each contestant what they think of the other one, blah, blah, blah. "Summer, do you think Bret is a good project manager?" "Bret, do you think Holly's label is good?" Whatever.
OK. Finally we're back LIVE. Holly comes out, looks very pretty in a silver dress and everyone claps. And then Bret comes out and the crowd goes crazy. Even Holly tears up and admits that her own son is rooting for Bret. He says he was willing to risk his health to be there at the finale. He calls Holly's outfit "a baby-making dress." (Glad all the hospitalization hasn't dampened his rabid one-track mind...)
And a cool fact revealed: Holly's dad was the original Gordon on "Sesame Street"! Wow! Then we get a taste of Cyndi's newest song. (When did she get all bluesy?) She dances on the boardroom table! Hee.
Both of the winners charities get a quarter of a million bucks, thanks to Trump and Snapple, Trump announces. So there's really no "loser."
And at long, long, long last, Trump is ready to fire someone. He fires Holly. Which means, ta-da: Bret's hired -- he wins! Confetti! Hugs! Tears! (And that's just at my house!)