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Celebrity Apprentice: More cheap than Zen

We open at the end of the last boardroom...Cyndi is telling the camera that Holly is "a two-faced beeyotch." .... This show is just like one of those Hallmark movies. Touching.

Back at Trump Tower, the remaining contestants get to see Trump's ridiculously gilded apartment. When even Maria, with her caked on makeup and 5-inch heels, thinks your style is overdone, you have a problem. Anyway. Each team is going to renovate an executive apartment. Project managers are Holly (for the team of her, Bret and Cyndi) and Sharon for her Curtis and Maria.

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Holly and Cyndi on the same team you say? Yowl. And Curtis is with Sharon and Maria, who made a point last week of saying that they don't like him. Hmm.

The teams have to decorate, paint, shop... for the entire apartment. It's a lot of work. And one room has to be a "celebrity" room.

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Holly gives Cyndi responsibility for the celeb room. Bret has a nice way with Cyndi and Holly, keeps both of them from boiling over and slapping each other. Who knew Rock of Love was such a diplomat?

Sharon, Maria and Curtis go shopping. Sharon likes nothing Maria wants. Maria's like a little girl who wants to paint her room turquoise and pink and Mom Sharon has to tell her she'll be sick of it in two weeks. Maria is hurt that Sharon seems to be paying more attention to Curtis than her. "He's stealing my spot," she whines.

Bret shoots pictures of the skyline for art. Holly and Cyndi shop for their Balinese themed place. Cyndi wants disco balls and to "let her freak flag fly." Holly wants a normal apartment and she probably has a point.

The props company lets it slip to Sharon that the other team is doing Balinese. The knowledge makes Sharon feel even better about her choice to do a contemporary/modern look.

Bret's leaving for a while for a gig! So it's just Holly and Cyndi. Ha. They start to get a long for a while. ...

Curtis uses connections to get a ton of Alessi accessories. Sharon gets some stuff from another hip place -- including a $40,000 lamp. It's very, very good to be Sharon Osbourne, it's clear from how she's treated in the store.....

Cyndi's celeb room is painted the brightest red imaginable. And not just on the walls -- on the ceiling, too. I love red, but it's actually hard to look at, let alone be in. But it's a Cyndi Lauper designed room. And there's gotta be some currency in that for a rental company.

Curtis and Sharon apparently over-shopped. And Sharon is concerned with the colors. Not that they have time to change them.

Bret's pictures come back way too small. A Spinal Tap-ian mistake. Cyndi is being a pill, running around and totally yelling at workers. Holly and Bret make a hurried pact to remember that in the boardroom.

The judges tour the Zen Balinese place. Jonathan Adler makes faces that could mean anything. At the modern/contemporary place, it's more of the same -- who knows if they like it or not.

They later tell Baby Trump they thought the modern/contemporary apartment looked huge but thought the celeb room was boring. The exec dinged it for no bedroom dresser... As for the Balinese place, they thought there was too much clutter and Adler said, "It felt more cheap than Zen." He also hated the seafoam green paint that Holly thought was so great.

And the winner is: Sharon's team. They're doubling the prize, so $40,000 for Cedars Sinai hospital's colon cancer program.

As expected, Holly and Cyndi go at each other's throats in the boardroom. Bret more gently throws Cyndi to the wolves. Cyndi does herself no favors in her own defense.

Trump says it's a hard decision. Only in that if they fire Cyndi, the ratings will drop -- that is if they can go any lower.

In the boardroom Trump, as usual, confuses civility with passion. He's disappointed that Bret isn't swearing and shouting as much as Cyndi and Holly. But, he fires Cyndi. (That plop you hear? That was the last of the ratings.)

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