Five seconds in to tonight's Dancing With the Stars, it's already results time. Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough and Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani are all called forward. Nicole and Derek learn that they are safe, and Kate and Tony are in the bottom two for the first time. (It's about time!)
The reprisal tonight is Jake Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower's cha-cha. Meh.
Tonight's first singing performance is Maxwell. He sings "Fistful of Tears" while two pros do a routine full of amazing lifts and jumps. Color me impressed!
Results: Niecy Nash and Louis Van Amstel are called forward and learn they are safe. Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke are also called forward, but then they are just told that they will learn their fate later. Lame!
The Macy's Stars of Dance performance pays tribute to several decades of the movies, with the medley of songs including "Puttin' on the Ritz," "Dancing Again," music from "Austin Powers" and the theme from the remake of "Fame."
After that, Debbie Nova makes her U.S. television debut singing and dancing with some of the pros, too.
Results: Evan Lysacek and Anna Trebunskaya are safe. Jake Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower get the fakeout treatment, which I really hate. Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are safe, and Pamela Anderson and Damian Whitewood are "still in jeopardy." Grrrr.
After a break, maybe it's the actual results? Jake and Chelsie are safe. Chad and Cheryl are also safe. This means that Pamela and Damian are in the bottom two with Kate and Tony. At long last, we learn that the ousted couple is: Kate Gosselin and Tony Dovolani.
Tony says that as her teacher, he is so proud of her and she always gave it her best. Kate says, crying, thank you to the voters at home for believing in her more than she believed in herself. She says that she was always giving her all, even if it didn't always come across, that most of the time she was just scared to death.
(Photo of Pamela Anderson and Damian Whitewood courtesy of ABC)