"Dancing with the Stars" opened with Jake Pavelka and Chelsie doing the samba, and Jake whining like a baby when the judges criticized him. I hate this guy. What a weenie.
They get 21 out of 30. Too bad, Jake. Quit comparing yourself to Evan and Nicole. They're terrific; you're a loser.
Evan Lysacek and Anna had the strangest video I ever saw with her flipping him over her back and him getting a concussion. Weird stuff. I thought Evan and Anna were terrific on the samba, but the judges absolutely ripped them. Please, for five weeks, the judges can find nice things to say about Kate stomping around like a cow, but they rip this Olympic gold medalist who seems to be flying across the floor. Excuse me, wasn't that a standing ovation the audience gave Evan and Anna.
Doesn't matter, the judges give them only a 21 -- their lowest score ever.
Niecy Nash and Louis do an Argentine tango with a comic edge, and I'm thinking it was tricky, but OK. But what about the judges?
Carrie Ann says Niecy was "in the zone," but adds, "you didn't need the comedy." Bruno says Niecy's dancing wasn't "sweaty and carnal" enough, but he liked it anyway. We could all get a little more sweaty and carnal, Bruno. Really.
And the score is 21. So, they get praised and receive 21, while Evan and Anna get ripped and get 21.
Here comes Erin Andrews and Maxsim. He says, "I'm going to get institutionalized after this season is over." No Maxs, that's your pal Tony. Man, I wish they would have paired Maxs with Kate. Now that would have been something to behold.
Wow. Audience on their feet. And Len is trashing Maks for taking his shirt off. Oooh, Maxs talked back to Len.
Now Bruno is saying she was "spot on." And Carrie Ann is saying she "nailed it." Forget you, Len.
Carrie Ann gives a 9, Len a 7, Bruno a 9. That's 25, and that's tops so far.
Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl do the Argentine tango. Before the dance, Cheryl says, "Manhandle me," and Ocho does.
And Bruno is screaming that he's a "prowling panther." Carrie Ann is saying he is "sensual, arrogant." Looks like Chad's best score ever. They get 24 -- their highest ever.
Nicole is freaking out on the video. I think she's losing it. But ooh-la-la, can she dance the samba, or what? Who cares if she's losing her mind. This is terrific stuff to watch. And PS: Kudo to Derek, the dance boy.
Len is insane -- he's criticizing Nicole. But thank goodness, Bruno snatches it back telling Nicole, "You are one singular sensation." Yes, she is!
Bruno sticks it to Len's 7 by giving them a 10. With 9 from Carrie Ann, that's 26. Ok.
Pamela Anderson and Damian do the Argentine tango. Bruno is insane: "The blossom of the Pampas ready to be defrocked, but not without a fight," he says, describing Pamela's character in the dance." Defrocked? Bruno, Bruno, Bruno. They get 22, and look a little disappointed. But it's not the bottom anyway.
Swing dance marathon time. It sounds complicated.
Oh yes, Jake and Chelsie are the first to go. What was that Jake said about winning? Hot dog.
There goes Niecy and Louis. Evan and Anna, out? Evan? He's great.
Chad and Cheryl get the hook.
Wow, this is pure stamina. Oops, there goes Pamela and Damian.
Erin and Maks bite the dust.
So, it's Nicole and Derek, the dance boy as winners with 10 points. Weird event. I'm not sure it worked. What do you think?
I really am starting to think Nicole deserves to win this whole thing. But she is kind of getting mental, no?
Even though the last number was a kind of a mess, the show was lots of fun tonight. And once we dump Jake, we'll have nothing but real dancing "stars" left to pick from. Wasn't it nice not to have to suffer the charade of Kate Gosselin? Watching the dancers this week, really was a stark reminder of just how ridiculous and outrageous it was for her to be on this show. I can't wait to see the ratings tomorrow.