John-John reports on last night's America's Next Top Model:
Anslee starts the episode crying while reading a letter from her family. Meanwhile Jessica is in the kitchen talking to Tatianna about her love of pickle juice. Tatianna is talking about her love of bodily functions and being a mortician. (It's safe to assume that because the cameras have focused on them that at least one of these women will be in the bottom two this episode.)
The contestants meet with Miss J. the next morning. Miss J. talks to them about forming chemistry with male models. They practice with judge Nigel Barker, who is ridonkulously hot! (There slew of fashion shots shown on the screen of the photographer/model/ Top Model judge quickens the heart pounding for a moment. Breathe.)
Back to the show. Nigel is making an appearance to help the girl prepare to exude chemistry with male models during photo shoots. Each contestant is required to pretend to strike up a conversation with Nigel and attempt to have chemistry with him.
Angelea fails when she does the MC Hammer dance to try and impress Nigel. Alexandra endlessly talks about herself. Tatianna makes Nigel miserable when she insults him. Anslee is natural, and Nigel appreciated it. Jessica flirts extra hard with Nigel, which is very tacky. She wraps her leg around him at one point. Nigel says he feels assaulted. (Mistake!)
Later, the girls meet challenge judge Anne Shoket, who is editor-in-chief of Seventeen Magazine. She's there to help judge the challenge, which the girls soon learn will require them have to produce a seductive photo with Ross Mathews, the high-pitched, asexual comedian. (That is an extremely tough challenge!)
Raina says "he's hilarious but not the most handsome gentlemen in the entire world." (Ouch.)
Tatianna's shot feels contrived, according to Nigel. Jessica's "go-getcha" attitude surprisingly works for the photo shoot, according to Nigel. Jessica wins the challenge, and the prize of $6,500 worth of diamonds. Alasia wins a $5,000 ring for her top-rated photo from the previous week. She's loud and obnoxious as usual.
Back at the loft, Anslee is crying on the phone talking about how much she misses her daughter. (I’m almost fully convinced that she’s getting eliminated this episode.)
After an ultra ridiculous preachy speech by Mr. Jay Manuel that warns against purchasing counterfeit fashion, the girls learn that the theme of the fashion shoot is "fake," which means that the props and make-up are over-the-top and exaggerated. (Give me a break with the whole counterfeit theme! When you all start talking about the sweatshops used to make these designer fashions then we can seriously talk.)
Anywho, Tatianna reverts to posing she did during the first episode, according to Mr. Jay. Jessica nails the shoot, Mr. Jay says. Krista also draws praise from Mr. Jay. Anslee goes into the shoot with a bad attitude. "I was emotional distraught," Anslee says in a confessional. Mr. Jay says she looks "pin-uppy." Mr. Jay seems to love Angelea's pictures. "Alexandra fell short of herself," Mr. Jay says. (Maybe she's going home.)
The contestants learn that Pat Cleveland, a legendary supermodel, is the special guest judge. It's also revealed that Cleveland signed Tyra banks to her modeling company when Tyra was first starting out as a model. (This is the real reason that she was brought on the judge this episode. It's all about Tyra, remember?)
Generally the judges are pretty favorable. Krista has a decent amount of poses, according to Nigel. Brenda looks catalog 101, according to Tyra. (Not good.) Alexandra's shot leaves the judges underwhelmed. "The styling carried you over," Andre Leon Talley says. Tyra says Tatianna usually has weak photos and is bailed out by one good photo. Anslee's photo gets good comments. Angelea gets rave reviews by all of the judges. Jessica's photo is full of energy, Nigel says. Raina's photo gets mixed reviews. Alasia continues to get good feedback from the judges.
Jessica receives the best photo distinction. She's followed by Angelea, Krista, Alasia, Anslee, Brenda, and Rainna. Alexandra and Tatianna are in the bottom two.
Alexandra is in the bottom two because she doesn't know what to do with her body, according to Tyra. Tatianna takes lucky photos, which is not good, according to Tyra.
Alexandra stays. Tatianna is out.
Tyra calls Tatianna an anomaly.
"I don't think you get it yet," Tyra says in that over-the-top dramatic whisper. (It's almost like she's trying to invoke a haute couture Oprah.) "You have the potential. It is there. The skill is going to have to come."
Tatianna sobs at the loft while lamenting: "I'm very disappointed in myself." She vows to pursue a modeling career. Yadda, yadda. Bring on American Idol….