The idea for this week's Top Ten list comes from Dining@Large reader Alexander D. Mitchell IV.
I'd like to thank Alexander for the suggestion. And I'll thank the rest of you for sending any and all complaints his way.
Good luck with that, Alexander!
The list:
Top Ten foods most likely to be banned under Obamacare
1. Any produce not grown in a White House garden, schoolhouse garden or mammoth agribusiness spread in a swing farm state
2. Any food that ends in "o"
That means Frito, Cheeto and anti-cholesterol poseur Cheerio
3. The entire chips/snack food aisle in every major supermarket
Exceptions made for whole-grain, no salt, biodynamic pretzels
4. Artery-clogging cheeses
Exceptions made for triple creme purchased at Whole Foods by hipsters with food stamps
5. Tobacco
OK, it's not a food crop. But the nation's unsmoked smokes will be confiscated and stored at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
6. Twinkies
"A Twinkie is not a cigarette," Michelle Obama remarked at an anti-obesity forum the other day. That's precisely why the chemical-laden sweets will not be stored in the White House but trucked directly to Yucca Mountain for disposal.
7. Fast food
Obama will grant two exceptions in deference to his many European fans: French fries. And any McDonald's sandwich with "bistro" in its name.
8. High-fructose corn syrup
Scientists now say the sweetener is no more likely than sugar to make us fat. (It still may not be so hot for the liver and kidneys.) But along with sugar, it is making us fat. Besides, nutritional punching bags, like political ones, rarely wear out.
9. Arugula
Obama has been gunning for the tasty green since that campaign-trail joke flopped.
10. Beets
They may be darling root vegetable du jour, but beets are for Obama what broccoli was for George H.W. Bush.
Chicago Tribune photo