So this is how Tiger Woods is going to do it.
This is how he plans to spread his message of contrition and redemption: in dribs and drabs, a quickie network interview here, a five-minute hit on the Golf Channel there. And who knows, maybe he shows up on the Food Channel next, or Discovery, or he breaks down and does Oprah like his handlers want him to do.
All of it leads up to his April comeback at the Masters in Augusta, when the world's greatest golfer gets back to doing what he does best -- and it sure ain't explaining away this awful sex scandal that has engulfed him since last Thanksgiving.
If you count his televised 14-minute news conference last month, which was essentially Tiger reading a statement in front of family and friends and then hugging his mom for the cameras, two things are striking about this apology tour thus far:
No. 1, he seems genuinely shaken and remorseful. He talks about his "disgusting" behavior and all the people he's hurt "by my own reckless attitude and behavior." Gone is the old Tiger swagger and bravado -- now he wonders if he'll even get a flew claps from the gallery when he plays the Masters, never mind a thunderous roar.
No. 2, he's really not saying anything new. Sure, he talks about all his days of in-patient treatment, his straying from his Buddhist roots, and so on.
But he still isn't saying boo about what really happened last Thanksgiving night, when he crashed his car in his driveway early in the morning and his wife, Elin, either pulled him out of the car or was swinging a 9-iron at him, depending on which rumors you believe. And he sure isn't saying anything about all these raunchy text messages that his alleged porn star mistress said he sent her. (She's conveniently posted them on her web site, too.)
All in all, it's been a sad, shabby little story that seems to make Tiger grow smaller and smaller every day.
At this point, seeing him talk about the whole thing is almost painful to watch.
Maybe he should just shut up for a while and play golf.
It might be best for him -- and for the rest of us.