I am snowbound in the wild hills of northern Baltimore County, staring out at 6-foot-high snowdrifts and an unplowed street and wondering how bad the cabin fever will get today.
You start to lose it a little when you're stuck inside for days -- my way of coping has been to obsessively scour the Internet for sports stories that provoke some emotion in me.
I see where Lindsey Vonn, the U.S.'s best woman skier and a lock to win three gold medals at the Vancouver Winter Olympics, says she has a severe wrist injury and isn't sure she'll be able to compete at all in the Games.
Naturally, she's upset about this, having trained years for this moment. I don't even know who Lindsey Vonn is. But I'm upset that she's upset. And now I'm upset that I might not be able to watch her ski in the Olympics next week, which I probably wasn't going to do anyway.
My mood improves a few dozen clicks later when I see that Seth Davis, Sports Illustrated's "Inside College Basketball" guru, has declared North Carolina's basketball season officially over after the Tar Heels 64-54 loss to Duke last night.
I watched that game. How could you not be happy seeing the Heels go down in flames and the disconsolate look on the perpetually-tanned face of Roy Williams after the final buzzer?
That team has won enough. So has Duke. If Seth Davis had declared Duke's season officially over, too, I would have probably taken my clothes off and run outside and jumped in one of those gigantic snowbanks.
I'm sorry, I know that's a disturbing image. But I've been cooped up for a while now.
Anyway, I was feeling good about the whole Carolina R.I.P thing, good enough to maybe go outside and shovel, which is all I've been doing for days now. (You buy a brand new shovel at Home Depot, with a larger face and a curved handle to put less stress on your back, and you think it's pretty cool and it'll make shoveling more interesting, but it doesn't. Shoveling still stinks.)
But I still couldn't tear myself away from the computer, and then a few clicks later, there it was, the kind of story that will just ruin your day: Derek Jeter likes the Yankees' chances to repeat as World Series champions.
Great. I opened the front door and hurled the new shovel with the larger face and curved handle out into the snow, where it sits now, nearly buried near the rear wheels of my wife's car. Maybe she'll back over it if they ever plow us out.
I gotta get out of here soon.