It's one thing for TNA to be rehashing WCW story lines from 1997 and 1998 – at least WCW was on fire at that point – but now it appears that TNA is stealing a page from WCW's not-so-glorious 1994 playbook.
Back then, a big, strong, child-like wrestler named Dave Sullivan gained confidence after Hulk Hogan presented him with a pair of his wrestling boots, which were referred to as "magic slippers." Fast-forward to TNA 2010: A big, strong, child-like wrestler named Abyss has gained confidence (and superhuman strength) after Hogan presented him with his Hall of Fame ring. Abyss even comes to the ring to Hogan's WCW theme music from '94.On Thursday night's episode of TNA Impact, Abyss used the magical powers of the ring to break free from handcuffs and save Hogan from an attack by A.J. Styles, Ric Flair and Desmond Wolfe. This led to the announcement that Hogan and Abyss will face Flair and Styles in the Impact main event on March 8, when TNA makes its permanent move to Monday nights.
The Hogan-Abyss story line is a little too cartoon-like for my tastes, but if it succeeds in getting Abyss over as a bigger star than he is now, more power to the TNA creative team. I suppose a magic ring is no more nonsensical than a wrestler who has supernatural powers or a leprechaun who lives under the wrestling ring.
Other thoughts on Thursday's show:
It was hilarious watching Styles, Flair and Wolfe take turns running into Hogan's fist. It was reminiscent of the Four Horsemen running into Dusty Rhodes' elbow back in the day. Right after Taz remarked how good Hogan looked in the ring, "The Hulkster" took a couple steps and limped badly. …
If you're a Wolfe fan (I am), there was good news and bad news. The good news is that Wolfe was involved in the big post-match angle with Hogan, Flair, Styles and Abyss. The bad news is that prior to the angle, Wolfe was pinned clean by Abyss in less than two minutes. I wouldn't have as much of a problem with Wolfe losing to Abyss if it had been a longer, more competitive match, but the way this went down was absurd. TNA had done a tremendous job of establishing Wolfe as a major player right from the start, but the new regime has dropped the ball. …
Flair showed a lot of intensity – and that's probably an understatement – in the show-opening promo. I don't know if Flair could have been sweating any more if he were sitting in a sauna wearing a fur coat. It would be nice, though, if Flair got the name right of the guy TNA is trying to push as a super babyface. It's Abyss, not "The Abyss," which Flair said at least three times. …
I don't think anyone has ever played an insincere wrestling character as well as Eric Bischoff. His scenes with Jeff Jarrett were really good. It was quite a sight to see the TNA founder wearing a hairnet and flipping burgers. …
I still can't get over the fact that TNA is putting over the WWE Hall of Fame as the ultimate achievement in the business. I also wish Bischoff would stop talking about "turning the company around." That implies that TNA was garbage before he and Hogan arrived to save it. It would be better to put a positive spin on it and say something such as "taking the company to the next level." …
While talking with someone on the phone, Bischoff remarked that having celebrity guest hosts is "the dumbest idea I've ever heard." Really? Dumber than paying a large sum of money to the rock band Kiss and creating The Demon character? Dumber than bringing in Master P and the No Limit Soldiers? …
I liked the bit in which Mr. Anderson was cutting a promo on the ramp and Kurt Angle came up through the floor behind him. Anderson heard the crowd react when he mentioned Angle's name and said, "Don't worry, he's not here." Angle then blasted him with a chair. …
It was pretty unrealistic that one chair shot by Angle onto Anderson's back would KO Anderson to the point that Rob Terry could pick up his lifeless body, carry him to the ring and pin him. …
I'm not sure what Anderson was going for with the reference to the Vietnamese soldier during his promo. …
I like Eric Young, but when he wears that black leather jacket and white T-shirt and stands next to Kevin Nash, he reminds me of one of the dorky guys from "Grease" that were Danny Zuko and Kenickie's underlings. …
Young and Sean Waltman had a decent-looking brawl in the parking lot, but did I really see Scott Hall use a chop to the chest in a street fight? It's interesting that we didn't actually see Hall hit Nash in the knee with the lead pipe – we only saw the results of it. It still wouldn't surprise me if Nash is working with his buddies to set up Young. …
After Samoa Joe was kidnapped by three masked men last week, the only follow-up on this show was Taz saying that he had been trying unsuccessfully all week to contact Joe. Perhaps someone should alert the police. …
It was shocking to see ODB being used as the sacrificial lamb to get Daffney over, but I think it's great that Daffney is being pushed as a dangerous threat to the women's title. ODB, who did a heel turn not all that long ago, came across as a babyface in this match. You can't make this stuff up. …
The best match on a show that had very little wrestling was the one between Kazarian and Brian Kendrick. Kazarian won with the Flux Capicator. That's a spectacular finishing move, but TNA didn't even bother to show one replay. Instead, they cut right to Young and Nash taping up in the back. …
Taz said that Kazarian doesn't show any ring rust. That was cute. …
Since Team 3D defeated The Nasty Boys in a tables match, I would love to believe the program between the two teams is over, but I don't think that's case. Jerry Sags doesn't look too bad in the ring, but Brian Knobs is a total embarrassment. …
Beer Money was on TV for the second straight week, so things are looking up – well, at least for them. If you're The Motor City Machine Guns or Generation Me, not so much. When Matt Morgan took issue with Hernandez for setting up a tag team title defense for them against Beer Money, Morgan said he would have preferred they defended the title against a team such as the Guns or Generation Me before working their way up to Beer Money. Ouch. ...
I must have been dreaming, because I swear I saw Jay Lethal make an appearance on the show.