Carla: Guest blogger Lindsay Diokno says, "Because I do what I want, this will be recap-y AND rant-y. (And, because I do what I want, recap-y and rant-y are words.)" Read on to find out what happened on this week's "Real World D.C."

Lindsay: The two big themes of last night were Andrew's love life and Mike vs. Ashley. I want to start with Andrew -- the gist is boy finds girl, girl comes to boy's home and won't go past what appears to be heavy petting and spooning, girl calls it off and boy is back to square one. Here is why said girl (Alli) was smart to cut and run:

- Andrew was caught on film walking around the house in a gold-colored jacket and a panda hat


- Andrew's roommates consider him so hopeless they give him "charm school" lessons that include making sure he orders an appetizer when taking a girl to dinner and knowing how to unhook a bra. So, his roommates have made the mess worse.

- Andrew refers to Alli calling it quits as "breaking up." Even if the relationship were longer than the few days that we saw in last night's ep, I never got the sense that they moved beyond the point of just hanging out. And I feel like you need to be actually dating to break up with someone. But would you want get involved with someone who seems like they keep pushing for a relationship so quickly?

The gist of the Ashley/Mike fight is that they seemed to be really tight early on in the episode, and even went to church together, but Ashley feels Mike sides with a guy she believes is heckling her at a bar. So there's tension and fighting back and forth. Ashley randomly brings things up in their fight that have nothing to do with the fight, such as claiming Mike doesn't know who he is, that he's uncomfortable with his sexuality, and that he sided with the heckler because he's a guy and Ashley's a girl. The fight continues when the roommates are hanging out, and then when Ashley tries to prevent a girl from taking pictures of drunk Andrew at a bar. I swear, I watched this entire episode and I'm at a loss as to why this fighting continued throughout the entire episode, because I don't understand any point that Ashley was trying to make. Anyway, at some point they kind of make up and are friends again.

But I want to back up for a minute, to when Ashley and Mike's fight started, because this is the first time "Real World" has really acknowledged D.C. residents in the show. The fight started because the cast went to a Dupont Circle bar, and while they were eating, some drunk guys started yelling, "Where's Carson Daly? Are you Carson Daly?" I actually said out loud to myself that I hoped I knew the guys who started that. Ashley made a rude comment to the guys, but Mike observes that this is D.C., the cast members are just visitors, so it wouldn't kill the cast to be friendly with the locals.

I don't know how much reading the cast did about filming before filming started, but there were a LOT of residents who didn't want the show in D.C., so I appreciate Mike's attempt to befriend them. Ashley may have gotten upset about the hecklers and the girl who later tried to take pictures of drunk Andrew -- well, welcome to living in front of cameras and being in a town where most people don't want you around. If you don't respect the residents, don't expect to get respect.

I was thinking about this need for respect for others when the cast's men go to Nellie's Sports Bar, which happens to be a gay sports bar. These guys live in the Dupont Circle area, which has a huge gay community. They voluntarily went to a gay bar earlier this season. But OH, MY GOD, A GAY SPORTS BAR?! HOW UNCOMFORTABLE. Be careful, boys, some people MIGHT consider your reaction a little ... homophobic? Plus, my boyfriend would tell you that having a gay guy hit on you is the highest compliment, because they are way pickier than girls. So chill out.

Blech. I hate myself for watching this show.

NEXT WEEK ON "THE REAL WORLD": Josh is still in the cast?!? Yes, and he's maybe cheating on his girlfriend. Meh. I'll be going through Jersey Shore withdrawal at that point.

Carla: And, Lindsay, where is Erika, the girl who faked cancer?