Raw: Slammy Awards host Dennis Miller still ruining Monday night broadcasts

And the Slammy Award for worst host of any awards show ever goes to … Dennis Miller for his performance on Raw!

I always look forward to three-hour episodes of Raw, but Miller’s presence on the Slammy Awards Monday night was a bigger buzz-kill than CM Punk at dollar beer night.Now I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but I have always found Miller to be annoying, obnoxious and not the least bit funny. His idea of comedy consists largely of dropping obscure pop culture references to try and prove that he is smarter than all of us. Remember his ill-advised stint as a color commentator on “Monday Night Football” years ago? Mute buttons in living rooms all over the country were being worn out due to overuse.

On Raw, Miller was awful from the second he walked onto the stage, as he delivered a monologue that stunk worse than Big Dick Johnson’s gym socks. Miller’s “jokes” were met with total silence – well, unless you count the forced chuckles coming from the announce table. I was begging for Abraham Washington to come out and save the show.

Not only was the material not funny, but the political nature of it was inappropriate for the setting. Miller, a conservative, took shots at President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Michael Moore. He also told Al Sharpton to “suck it” and ridiculed the concept of global warming. The lone joke poking fun at Republicans was visual, as the heads of George Bush and Dick Cheney were superimposed on the bodies of DX. Of course that’s not a personal attack like the other stuff, but I guess that’s what Miller, a regular contributor on Fox News Channel, considers fair and balanced.

It’s ironic that in a skit with Chris Jericho later on the show, Miller said that Jericho was “an energy black hole” and that he “sucks the vibe out of the show in favor of his agenda.”

If the late, great Gorilla Monsoon were alive today, he no doubt would have said “you resemble that remark” to Miller.

Other thoughts on Monday’s show:

There were several interesting name-drops and teases sprinkled throughout the program. Perhaps the biggest shocker was when Vince McMahon asked Miller who he would like to see host the show, and Miller said “Bret Hart.” McMahon basically said that it would never happen, but he did so in such a way that led you to believe that it very well could happen. I wonder if “The Hitman” has any plans for Jan. 4?

Shawn Michaels, when accepting the Slammy for his Match of the Year with The Undertaker, challenged “The Dead Man” to face him in a rematch at WrestleMania XXVI. I think it’s a swerve, however. I still believe it will be Undertaker-Cena and Michaels-Triple H at WrestleMania.

When Chris Jericho accepted the award for tag team of the year, he noted that his partnership with The Big Show was made possible because of Edge’s injury. If Edge is healthy enough to make it back in time, there’s another WrestleMania match.

Jeff Hardy also was mentioned a few times on the show, and he even won a Slammy award (for Extreme Moment of the Year). The Shocker of the Year was Hardy having to retire after losing a steel cage match to Punk. …

While it is a little silly to determine Superstar of the Year by having a one-night tournament between the four nominees, I liked the twist because it meant that we were getting three marquee matches. Plus, the results of the Slammy Awards really aren’t mean to be taken that seriously anyway. …

When the brackets were announced for the Superstar of the Year competition (John Cena vs. Punk, The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton), I figured it was going to be Cena vs. Orton in the finals, with Cena winning – and that’s exactly what happened. Earlier in the show, Cena vowed that he was not going to lose another match on his road to regaining the WWE title, so that pretty much gave away the results. I also knew we weren’t getting Cena vs. The Undertaker at this point. I assumed Orton would defeat The Undertaker due to outside interference (which he did, thanks to Legacy), but I thought for sure it would be Batista who got involved. …

Some people are probably going to complain about WWE putting on another Cena-Orton match, but I didn’t mind it. At least it wasn’t a pay-per-view main event or a title match. Plus, they always work well together and it was a good match. …

I get it that Cena had to be put over strong one night after losing the WWE title to Sheamus, but Punk deserved better than having to tap out in a match that didn’t even last two minutes. …

Cena cut an awesome promo in which he talked about being disappointed that he let people down and how determined he is to not let it happen again. …

My first thought when Cena said that he wasn’t going to lose before regaining the title was that, unlike Jack Swagger, he’ll probably make good on his promise. By the way, Swagger couldn’t even get a cameo appearance on the three-hour show. …

When handing Michaels the Match of the Year award, Triple H said that he knew first-hand how good the Michaels-Undertaker match was because “I had to follow it and I didn’t stand a chance.” Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but I think that line was scripted as part of the build for Michaels-Triple H at WrestleMania. Michaels has amassed all these WrestleMania moments, but Triple H has yet to have his, so what better way for him to get it than by facing “Mr. WrestleMania” in a singles match. …

Fans booed when the DX-Jeri-Show tag team title match ended in a matter of seconds because DX got intentionally disqualified for shoving down the referee. However, once they realized that DX had pulled one over on Jericho (that was the only rematch for Jeri-Show, and now Jericho has to leave Raw), they cheered. …

What was with McMahon insulting the crowd? Then again, they did boo when Bob Barker was announced as Raw Guest Host of the Year, so they probably deserved to be insulted. Who boos Bob Barker? …

McMahon said that the guest host format was his vision. Wasn’t it Donald Trump’s? …

When introducing Triple H, Miller referred to him as “The Show” instead of “The Game.” Triple H responded by calling Miller “Dennis Milburn.” …

Batista was wearing a bright pink shirt when he interrupted Maria’s acceptance speech for Diva of the Year and started complaining about being the victim of a screwjob at the TLC pay-per-view Sunday night. Hmm. A bitter guy wearing pink whining about being screwed. Nah, it’s too easy. …

Speaking of Maria, I was quite surprised that she won the wwe.com voting for Diva of the Year over Mickie James. …

I’m not sure what the point was of the seven-on-seven match between the divas, who were all dressed in evening gowns. James and Rosa Mendes were the only two women to get into the match, and James pinned her in about a minute. …

I’m not sure if it was Michael Cole or Matt Striker, but one of them made a crack about James getting her outfit at Lane Bryant (a women’s clothing store for plus sizes). Enough already with the jokes about James’ weight. …

Cole jumping around and hugging Big Dick Johnson after winning the “Oh My” Moment of the Year (for vomiting on Jericho on Smackdown’s 10th Anniversary show) was just weird. His verbal jabs at Jim Ross almost made it seem as if he was turning heel. …

Why is the Big Dick Johnson character still around? It’s never been funny and it certainly isn’t family friendly. …

It was fitting that on an episode that had a train-wreck quality to it, The Great Khali and Vladimir Kozlov were actually in the ring together as opponents. In a six-man tag match, Khali joined forces with Kane and Christian. You may remember that it was Kane who put Khali out of action with a vicious attack a few months ago. OK, you probably don’t remember it, so you’ll just have to trust me. Christian explained that his partners decided to “put their differences aside” for one night. Yes it’s bad booking, but it’s not like anyone wanted to see another chapter in the Kane-Khali feud anyway. …

Yoshi Tatsu got a surprising pop when he was tagged into the six-man tag match that saw Tatsu, John Morrison and Mark Henry defeat Zack Ryder, Drew McIntyre and The Miz. Since Tatsu is on ECW, I didn’t think that many people in the crowd would even know who he was. The finish to the match was laugh-out-loud funny. Ryder did his “woo, woo, woo” deal to Tatsu, who immediately kicked him in the head and pinned him.

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