In a vain effort to dodge the terrible city traffic last night, I took Park Avenue, which took me past one of my fallback burger joints – Five Guys.
Just then, my heart stopped. I wasn't dead, though -- I was just in shock.
The Five Guys at the corner of Centre Street and Park Avenue was gone. ...
Gone!
The sign had been taken down, the number was disconnected, and the Brown Paper of Death was taped up in the windows.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I wanted to jump out of the car, run over to the building and claw at the door until my fingers were sore. But I knew it would do no good. There was nothing I could do to bring Five Guys back.
Come to find out, Five Guys has been closed for some time. I didn't know this, even though I sit next to the Baltimore Sun's restaurant critic. Thanks for telling me, Elizabeth. Geez!
For the next few days, I'll be in mourning. I don't know what I'll do after that. There's another Five Guys in the Pratt Street pavilion in the Inner Harbor, but that's just so impractical. You can't park outside, and there are these tourist types everywhere. Yuck.
There's also a Five Guys all the way out on Boston Street, past Canton and past Brewer's Hill. It's nice, but it's just so far removed.
In all honesty, I'm not that hardcore about Five Guys. But I feel betrayed, and I want to take my revenge.
What if I open up another burger joint in the exact same location? I could name it Six Guys. It would be slightly better than Five Guys (because there's one more guy).
Who's with me?
(Photo of Harborplace Five Guys by Andre F. Chung/Sun photographer)
