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Kate lies, cries to bitter end of 'Jon & Kate' finale

Could TLC have been more heavyhanded in the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" finale in hitting its one theme again and again? It went like this all night long: It's over, and it's sad. And it didn't have to be over, if it wasn't for Jon with his "warped" and "unhealthy" ways. But, hey, I'm not going to say bad things about my childrens' father.

Right, Kate. You and TLC are shameless.

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Oh, you have to hand it to Kate, she went out in high-Kate-lying-through-her-teeth-and-crying-when-she-couldn't-think-of-any-more-lies-to-tell style Monday night.

Take your pick of the following crying points that Kate hit over and over: "It's too soon." "It's been cut short." "It's sad." "It's useless." "It's totally avoidable."

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UPDATE: Don't forget live chat about finale at noon Tuesday (ET) at Z on TV.

If you feel sad, dear viewer, because it is over, blame Jon. It's all his selfish fault. Here look at how mean he is to Cara and Mady when they are trying to help him make signs for a lemonade stand. See, what a bad and selfish person he is. It's all his fault for all the tears you are seeing tonight. Oh, and did I mention that I don't tell the children about his girlfriends?

"That's too warped for them...too unhealthy," organic Kate, the purveyor of all things moral and healthy, says.

The total takedown of Jon Gosselin was set up with the opening image of the sign Jon posted to keep TLC and its production company cameras off his property. Of course, the word "penalty"  was spelled wrong ("penelty"), and that proves how stupid Jon is, right? Because Kate is such a genius.

Forget the lemonade sale with Jon and the trip to the organic farm with Kate. That was all just garbage tape TLC used to pad out the episode and sell a few more ads. The finale, as several bloggers here correctly predicted, was really about making Jon look bad, and giving Kate more couch time to try and make viewers hate Jon for ending the show. Because we all know that as a father, he should not have the right to take his kids off TV. What are a parent's rights compared to those of the great TLC?

I really have avoided using the word "vile" to describe TLC, but I think The Lying Channel earned it with this finale and last week's episode in the way their producers set out to do a hatchet job on Jon.

Jon is an idiot, adolescent, self-absorbed, low-life fool of a fool. But he is not a bad person for taking his kids off TV, even if Kate said several times Monday night how much the kids "miss" being circus animals for TLC.

Oh yeah, that was the secondary theme, Kate saying again and again how many "great and unique opportunities" TLC provided for her and the kids -- opportunities that the kids otherwise would not have had if not for the generous and great TLC. She even thanked TLC at the end for the "tapes"" -- the videotapes that will record forever her family imploding before the eyes of millions of viewers.

Her closing words, "It's sad. It's cut short. It's too soon... I'm very grateful for the opportunities. I'm grateful for the memories. I'm grateful for the memories on tape."

Could you pimp your kids out more for TLC's cameras and profits -- and your borderline shot at being a third-rate talk show host? Let's see how happy your kids are, Kate, for the "memories on tape" that will haunt them the rest of their lives when they see their parents being mean to each other, when they see Jon making Cara cry, or Jon talking on a cell phone when one of his 5-year-old daughters asks for a popsicle on a hot day.

I have had enough. I can take no more Gosselin and TLC lies. I am handing off to Kelly. Here's Kelly and she is taking no prisoners:

And since this is the last episode, here is a special bonus post from Chrysee, who got this posted so fast, it drove her to take up smoking again. Here's Chrysee:

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