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Last week's 'Hell's Kitchen' ...

With my apologies for its lateness (totally my fault), here is John-John Williams IV's recap of last week's Hell's Kitchen (with last night's coming soon):

The contestants have been bickering up a storm this season on Hell's Kitchen, and Chef Gordon Ramsay has taken notice.

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Almost immediately, Ramsay split the teams into pairs. It appeared that he took extra effort to match feuding Tennille and Suzanne and Van and Andy. The challenge for the day was to make sausages. And of course the contestants made a slew of sexual references. Ramsay totally bought into it. He made a comment about the perfect size of a sausage is 6 inches. He also added that in this challenge "size matters." (Oh Lord!)

Anywho, the women won the competition.

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Ramsay called Robert and Jim's performance "pathetic" for not completing one complete set of sausage.

As a reward, the women were treated to an Oktoberfest-like party. The men were punished with having to clean the entire living spaces.

Robert and Kevin came close to fighting when the competitive juices started flowing, but they eventually patched things up.

Just before dinner service, Dave was told that he needed to be put in a long arm cast for two weeks. The cast would not allow him to move his thumb, which made him cry.

Dave went to Ramsay to discuss his options. Dave said he would remain. He immediately went to the hospital to get his cast while the other contestants started dinner service.

This night, a slew of celebs including Tom Green, Drew Lachey, Kristy Swanson and John O'Hurley attended dinner. Jim was getting yelled at for being slow. He was redonkulously slow when he was making tableside appetizers.

John O'Hurley complained about his spaghetti being too salty. Tek, who made the salty dish, began to lose confidence, and it really affected her. Tennille helped her out and made a spaghetti that was more to O'Hurley's liking.

Lovely did not season her food—at all. Sabrina stepped in and helped the entrees leave the kitchen despite Lovely's lackluster effort.

Andy sent out cold meat. Robert started yelling at Andy to the point that the customers heard the yelling. Ramsay was none-too-pleased with the display in front of the customers (even though he screams at them all. the. time.). He let Robert know it. Lovely added to her already horrible performance when she didn't know any of the orders. Ramsay yelled at her. (See?)

Dave arrived from the hospital and worked on desserts. He came just in time to give the men an additional push to put them neck and neck with the women. But Andy goofed again on meats. This time he served raw chicken.

Andy's flub didn't keep the men from winning. Lovely didn't cook her vegetables in time, which caused the women's team to lose.

Suzanne – in a surprise move – questioned Ramsay when he announced the men's team won. She said she believed the women's team was done first.

"Can I have a play-by-play?" she asked an annoyed Ramsay, who responded that she was disrespectful.

Ramsay said Sabrina was the best on the women's team. He tasked her with picking the worst-performing competitors.

Sabrina chose Tek and Lovely to go home.

Tek told Ramsay that she is extremely passionate about food.

Ramsay said Lovely was "more laid back than an ironing board." Ramsay said that both women were horrible during dinner service.

In true Hell's Kitchen fashion, Ramsay pulled a last minute move and called Suzanne's name. He asked her for her opinion of who should go home. She said Lovely. Ramsay agreed, and sent her home.

Ramsay later said that Lovely's name should be "Useless."

Ramsay told Tek to be careful. He called the next dinner service "the most important" they've ever been a part of.

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