Sorry, y'all ... we've got two hours before we find out who is winning this season of Dancing With the Stars.
It's filled with musical performances (Lady GaGa -- she is everywhere), highlights from the entire season (totally covered that already), announcement of the winner of the competition naming one of the pros who will perform next season, a roast by Jeffrey Ross, performances by the ousted contestants and more.
For the pros competition, the winner is Anna, who will appear on the next show.
During Ross' roast, he points out (rightly) that the stars who made it into the finale make it so the show should be called Dancing With the Vaguely Familiar. The rest of the roast is fairly uncomfortable, especially when he proposes to Melissa and says, "Wouldn't it be ironic if she came in second on this show, too?" Yeowch.
An hour and 20 minutes in, the finalists come out to dance.
Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas are up first, reprising their cha-cha-cha to "PYT." It's very cute and energetic yet again, and seems to have some more details this go-round. Head judge Len Goodman says her only problem this season has been lack of performance, but not tonight. Bruno Tonioli says she is getting hotter by the day. Carrie Ann Inaba says they have been underestimating her, and that the past three weeks, she's powered her way into the finals, and rightly so. Scores: 10-10-10, for a 30/30. (Tonight's scores will be combined with last night's viewer votes and scores.) That gives them an 88/90 total across the two nights.
Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani redo their samba with more energy and panache. Bruno says it was more appetizing on second helpings, and he wants thirds, fourths and fifths. Carrie Ann says she has been Tony's muse and done a fabulous job. Len says she has style, elegance, rhythm and performance. He says the samba was fantastic. Scores: 10-10-10, for an 86/90 across the two nights.
Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke perform their Argentine tango, which remains full of drama and amazing to watch. Carrie Ann says Gilles is a very special performer because he brings such artistry to his dances. Len says these two have brought them the most pleasure to watch. Bruno calls the dance an "Argentine triumph"; he loved it. Scores: 10-10-10, for a total 88/90 for the two nights.
Eventually, we will find out who is going to win this thing. But first, it's Lady GaGa again (though I am thinking more along the lines of, "GAH, will this EVER be OVER?"
FINALLY, some results: The third-place finisher is Melissa and Tony.
Host Tom Bergeron says this is the closest finish ever, with less than 1 percent difference between the first- and second-place finishers with all the scores and votes combined.
The winner is: Shawn and Mark, which makes Gilles and Cheryl the runners-up.
Shawn and Mark are stunned. Gilles tells Samantha that he is so happy for Shawn and thanks everyone, including his wife, for all their support.
Then Tom hands the trophy to Shawn, and the screaming begins.
So what do you think about the finish? I thought Shawn's been pretty consistent -- and improving, too.