Analysis: The Jets' late season-collapse last year suggests one of two things: Either Brett Favre’s odometer hit 300,000 miles when no one was paying attention, or the team wasn’t eating right. Lakshmi, the host of Top Chef, can help change that. She knows food, having authored a best-selling cookbook, and she also made just about the sexiest commercial ever for hamburgers, which you can, and should, watch here. The Jets' brass will just have to put Joe Namath on house arrest during her tenure with the team, considering the way he tried to make out with Suzy Kolber on live television a few years ago. Lakshmi also used to be married to author Salman Rushdie, who had to go into hiding after the publication of Satanic Verses, which earned him a fatwa from the radical Muslim world. Jets' fans can probably relate, since many of their loved ones are either in, or have been in, witness protection. The fact is, three out of four Jets fans have been involved in organized crime at some point in their life. Seriously, it’s true. I read it on Wikipedia, so you know it’s legit.
18. Broncos (from the Bears)
Selection: The Scared Straight convicts, documentary filmmakers, criminals