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"Peter Angelos" offers entertaining tweets

I'm heading to the ballpark in a few but just in case a cease-and-desist order is about to be delivered, I figured I'd better share this with you now. For the past couple of weeks, it's been worth a chuckle a day, which is all I really demand of my Internets.

"Peter Angelos" has proven to be a rather prolific Twitter user, and it seems like he has amazing capacity for brutal honesty. Before the account disappears, take a gander at the most enlightening tweets thus far from "Peter Angelos":

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This morning: Felt good to sleep in my own bed last night. Mainly because it has a built-in grappa fridge and a mattress made of koala pelts.

Yesterday: Days like these make me want to freebase asbestos. MacPhail took me to Boston Commons to feed ducks before leaving town. Feeling better now.

Saturday: Visited Kevin Youkilis this afternoon to tell him we were sorry his head got in the way of Baez's best pitch of the night.

Last Friday: I've turned off the game. Too angry. Going to fix myself a night cap to take the edge off: turpentine with children's tears chaser.

Last Friday: Fans will get more baseball insight stabbing themselves in the ear with a screwdriver than they'd get from the fools on @wnst.

Last Friday: Having moles removed today. Having Moeller removed next week. Also, trying to decide what to name my private blimp. "The Icarus", maybe?

Last Thursday: My private blimp's en route to Boston. Not looking forward to Theo Epstein asking why I haven't friended him on facebook. Awkward.

Last Tuesday: Fingers still sore from hand-sewing "Baltimore" script on players' road jersies. I care so much sometimes, it hurts.

April 12: For the record, we didn't lose today. We simply honored Easter by allowing the Rays to nail us. It's about sacrifice.

April 9: All those evenings Brian Bass & I spent playing catch in the parking lot after spring training games, wasted. I can't even look at him now.

April 8: Thinking about getting a Ty Wiggington tattoo to cover up the Albert Belle ink I got on my inner thigh in '97. anyone suggest a good parlor?

Photo: Doug Kapustin / Sun

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