This morning: Felt good to sleep in my own bed last night. Mainly because it has a built-in grappa fridge and a mattress made of koala pelts.
Yesterday: Days like these make me want to freebase asbestos. MacPhail took me to Boston Commons to feed ducks before leaving town. Feeling better now.
Saturday: Visited Kevin Youkilis this afternoon to tell him we were sorry his head got in the way of Baez's best pitch of the night.
Last Friday: I've turned off the game. Too angry. Going to fix myself a night cap to take the edge off: turpentine with children's tears chaser.
Last Friday: Fans will get more baseball insight stabbing themselves in the ear with a screwdriver than they'd get from the fools on @wnst.
Last Friday: Having moles removed today. Having Moeller removed next week. Also, trying to decide what to name my private blimp. "The Icarus", maybe?
Last Thursday: My private blimp's en route to Boston. Not looking forward to Theo Epstein asking why I haven't friended him on facebook. Awkward.