American Idol was searching for talent in San Juan, Puerto Rico and New York City. Surely the judges were going to discover a good amount of gems. The two-city special featured its fair share of duds.
Enter Adeola Adegoke, 19, a former bank teller from the Bronx. Talk about delusional. She quit her job so that she could be on the show. What a mistake! She sings "And I Am Telling You" by Jennifer Hudson. It is completely dreadful! Head judge Simon Cowell calls her performance "shockingly bad." All four judges pass on her. Later, Simon calls up her former boss and gets her job back. (That's nice.)
In San Juan, Puerto Rico, Jorge Nunez, a 20-year-old college student from Carolina, Puerto Rico, impresses the judges with some pretty darn good vocals. He sings a Spanish version of "My Way." He then sings "A Wonderful World" in English. Judge Kara DioGuardi said he has some pronunciation problems. (I didn't hear it.) Judge Paula Abdul says that he has the power in his voice of Marc Anthony. (I can see that.)
We're back from commercial break. Enter Jessica Baier, a 20-year-old from Jackson, Michigan. She claims she has been in 700 singing contests. She screams "I Surrender" by Celine Dion. Simon calls it awful. Judge Randy Jackson says its not good. Paula says it bordered on "shrilling." All four judges give her a no.
Jessica is followed by a slew of terrible singers who are in denial. Many of them lamented into the camera that the judges don't know what they're talking about, blah, blah, blah.
Back in New York, Malinda Camille is next. The 21-year-old from Stratford, Connecticut, says she wants to uplift humanity. She also admits to dancing naked in her room. She's now got Simon's attention. Simon says she looks very fresh. But can she sing? She sings "Feeling Good." And she is relatively good. Randy says she has a good voice, and a nice, pleasant disposition. Four yes votes for Melinda. She's going to Hollywood.
Jackie Tohn is next in New York. The 27-year-old from Silver Lake, California, plays the guitar. She says she's been singing for 10 years. She sings "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Simon stops her and asks her to sing another song in "her own voice." She belts out a sweet sounding song. The first three judges say yes. When Simon starts to speak, a piece of the window falls. Is it a bad sign? Nope! Simon gives her a yes again.
Back in San Juan, the judges are cutting contestants left and right. Insert a montage of tears and begging.
Back from a commercial break. It's time for all the dreadful performances.
Next is Joel Contreras, a 23-year-old street performer from San Juan. He's the self-proclaimed "Crazy Rocker." Joel shows up with a gigantic cardboard iPod. He calls it a "guy-pod." Simon says it's "everything he hates." All judges tell him no. Joel is excited. He totally convinces me that he's got mental issues.
Nick Mitchell, aka "Norman Gentle," is next in New York. Simon tells the 27-year-old from Brookfield, Connecticut, that he hates comedy. Despite the warning, "Mr. Gentle" sings "And I Am Telling You." He makes all these weird faces. Simon stops him. He sasses Simon. All the judges laugh. They give him the opportunity to sing another song -- "Amazing Grace." All the judges – except Simon – vote him onto Hollywood. (I'm really shocked.)
Two Hollywood-bound contestants breeze bye the screen. Kendall Beard, a 23-year-old from Austin, Texas, gets four yes votes. Insert a montage of Hollywood-bound contestants.
Nicole Laraway is next. She's horrible. Mark Granata isn't much better. Michael Sconiers is terrible.
Can Monique Garcia Torres change the bad streak? The 16-year-old brings her little brother, Christopher, into the audition for a little added support. She sings "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes. She's pretty good. She then sings "I Turn To You" by Christina Aguilera. Simon tells her to sing a song that is within her range. Randy and Kara say no. Simon says yes, and sends her on to Hollywood. (Simon is the head judge, and his vote can break any tie.)
Alexis Cohen is the last contestant in New York. She's back from a dreadful audition last year. (She's clearly off.) She sings "Like A Prayer" for Madonna. She's horrible. Simon says "that was actually fairly horrendous." He says she can't sing. She gives him the middle finger. She calls Simon an "ass" and she leaves. (She needs to be committed.)
Back in San Juan, Patricia Lewis Roman is next. Her parents actually got married at the audition site. The 20-year-old from Caguas, Puerto Rico, sings "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston. Simon says it is not good enough. Paula says no. Randy says yes. She emerges with a golden ticket.
Nine contestants advance from Puerto Rico and 26 advance from New York.
Next Tuesday is the "most dramatic Hollywood week ever," according to Ryan Seacrest. (Whatevs, Ryan. You say that every year…)