With apologies to Jack Handy and, for no apparent reason, Stuart Smalley (right), here are some incisive final thoughts about the Orioles as they prepare to play their final game of the 2008 season against the Toronto Blue Jays at Camden Yards:
So far, I think the biggest perk of Fan Appreciation Weekend has been the decision to shorten the games to seven innings.
The Orioles only need to draw about 70,000 fans for today's season finale to keep from falling under the 2 million mark in season attendance for the first time since the opening of Oriole Park at Camden Yards.
Not exactly sure what Dave Trembley was trying to prove by sitting Nick Markakis and Aubrey Huff last night when they both need two doubles to join Brian Roberts with at least 50 for the season. Maybe Dave was making a point about the team coming ahead of individual goals, but that was also one of the few things left for the fans to get excited about.
There's a pretty good chance this isn't the final day of the regular season for everybody. There's still a chance the National League wild card race could carry over until Monday and the Chicago White Sox and Minnesota Twins could play each other for the AL Central title on Tuesday.
If I had my way, I'd go right to spring training tomorrow. I'd still have the Orioles show up in mid-February, however.