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According to FiveOuncesofPain.com, Kimbo Slice will not be fighting Boston-area police officer Sean Gannon in October. Who is Sean Gannon? The only person to defeat Kimbo Slice in a YouTube fight.

It became a popular rumor last week that Slice would get a rematch with Gannon at the October EXC show, which would've been another well-hyped match against a less-than-capable opponent for Slice. Another possible rumored bout, against Brett Rogers, seems to have fizzled out as well because EXC brass thinks Slice would lose and then the promotion's biggest star would lose his draw. So, in an effort to protect Kimbo Slice but still find him an appealing opponent, I've compiled a list of interesting fighters he can beat.

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1. Me: What better way for Slice to shove it to his critics than to beat one in the cage? Plenty of athletes hate the media, heck, plenty of people period aren't fond of the media. This could be billed as "the rags-to-riches common man takes on corporate media" and it would sell big-time on national TV. EliteXC could put together promos with big catch phrases like "can Slice dodge the media's liberal bias?" and "Kimbo Slice will give the media an exclusive knockout they will never forget."

2. Gina Carano: The UFC has several of its biggest stars on a collision course. B.J Penn and Georges St. Pierre. Chuck Liddell and Anderson Silva. Why shouldn't EXC do the same thing and have its two biggest stars square off in the cage? It would be the most relevant battle of the sexes in decades. Plus, Carano might be the most talented fighter Slice could defeat

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3. The Undertaker: The whole "wrestling-to-MMA" angle has worked wonders with Brock Lesnar. Unfortunately, Lesnar is a world-class wrestler and an athletic freak who would destroy Slice. So, EXC would have to go for more of an entertainer than an athlete. The Undertaker has great name recognition and is a big guy, but he's not the WWE's most athletic wrestler and he's no spring chicken.

4. Ken Shamrock: Here's the most viable candidate of the group. He's rumored to be one of the fighters EXC is considering putting up against Slice. Shamrock has name recognition from his past as a UFC fighter, but Slice should be able to fair well because Shamrock stopped fighting competitively a decade ago (give or take eight or nine years).

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