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'I Love Money' kicks off

Guest blogger Lindsay Diokno previews VH1's I Love Money:

I'm not proud that I've seen almost every episode of every season of Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and I Love New York, but I'm still going to watch I Love Money.
 
The premise is simple -- contestants from VH1's dating shows milk their 15 minutes of fame by competing to win $250,000. You'll find it more entertaining if you remember this show isn't exactly Emmy material.
 
Not as familiar with the contestants as I (sadly) am? VH1 is airing the questionably named "Meet the All Stars" casting special all week. If you can't catch one of the 10 or 15 airings a day, here's the cast rundown before Sunday's premiere:

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Contestants from

Flavor of Love

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(women vie for the love of Public Enemy’s Flavor Flav)

Pumkin (Brooke):

Famous for spitting on another contestant. (Semi-spoiler: One of the

I Love $

competitions is a spitting contest. Classy.)

Nibblz (Domenique):

Says others didn't like her because she's the "naughty" one. Insert other candidates for that title here.

Toasteee (Jennifer):

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Was kicked off because she lied about appearing in some … questionable material.

Hoopz (Nicole):

Winner of the first

Flavor of Love

; may have one of the more well-adjusted lifestyles.

Contestants from

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I Love New York

(Men vie for New York, two-time runner-up on

Flavor of Love

. Her dating show is

The Bachelorette

, but with more bling and fistfights)

Chance (Kamal) & Real (Ahmad):

Brothers who are members of rap group; Real was the second-to-last person eliminated from the first

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I Love New York

, and Chance was eliminated last

Heat (Jason) & 12 Pack (David):

These "Party Boyz" (the name of their act) toured clubs, but it sounds like they broke up. Future awkward moments on

I Love $

? I hope so.

The Entertainer (Frank):

He's 30 and lives with his parents. Enough said.

Midget Mac (Torrey):

Smooth operator and master at "midgitsu."

Whiteboy (Joshua):

Very mellow guy who works at his family's Miami-based pawn shop

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Mr. Boston (Lee):

Hilariously awkward, constantly talks about getting girls and … that's about it. Inexplicably, Gary Busey showed up during Mr. Boston’s segment.

Contestants from

Rock of Love

(women vie for the love of Poison frontman Bret Michaels)

Heather:

Loud, strong blonde; runner-up on first

Rock of Love.
Rodeo:

Loud, strong brunette; was cut from

Rock of Love

so she could go back to her kids.

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Destiney:

Another brunette; she and Rodeo probably wear bikinis the least of this bunch,

Megan/Brandi C.:

I can’t really tell the difference. They're both blonde, bikini-clad and owners of tiny, tiny dogs. One dyed her dog pink; PETA must be thrilled.

There are some strong front-runners. The only contestant who won his or her respective dating show was the competitive Hoopz/Nicole. Whiteboy/Joshua keeps cool under pressure, but he might not have the drive to win. The Entertainer/Frank wants to move out of his parents' house, but he looks like he lacks drive as well. Heather and Rodeo are pretty tough girls, and Destiney's had to face competition and personal tragedy at the same time -- her father died of liver cancer right around the time she was cut from

Rock of Love

. But I'm guessing you only care about who could win if you're playing the

.

So, you're prepared for the premiere, and if you're not turned off from watching, we'll talk about the first episode next week.


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