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Cabrera and 'Cakes

I returned home from a trip just in time to see Daniel Cabrera give Detroit a 6-run first inning and make a bad play on a grounder in the second. If Cabrera could have heard what Jim Palmer was saying about him in the TV booth, the next pitch might have gone up there. Not that Cakes said anything that wasn't rational, fair and justified.

The Bad Daniel appeared again last night, and he missed a double steal and walked guys and hit one of the Tigers. Palmer sounded like a pissed-off parent in a public place. The Hall of Famer controlled himself, saying lots of negative things about Bad Daniel in the most pleasant way possible. It has become one of the most entertaining hours in sports television -- Jim Palmer commenting on Daniel Cabrera's pitching.

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The whole time I'm listening to this, I'm imagining what Palmer would really like to say: "Dahn-yell-ay! You obtuse stork! Don't you know they all steal on you? Could you throw a change' once in a while? Have you heard anything I've been saying for the last five years?" And Palmer thought Trembley should have ordered someone to warm up in the bullpen when Cabrera started off yet another inning with a walk. It's what Earl would have done.

I enjoy this Palmer-Cabrera thing. I look forward to it. It's like listening to a retired Johns Hopkins professor commenting from the balcony while one of his students, now a surgeon himself, lectures below -- we hear all the points the protégé missed, about his limited diagnostic imagination, his sophomoric understanding of human physiology, his poor choice of surgical instruments. It's a great learning experience, really. It brings out the best in Palmer. He'd have made a terrific medical examiner, dissecting cadavers and dictating the reasons for their premature deaths. CBS should cast Palmer in the lead of a new drama: CSI Cabrera.

At some point, you wanna turn to the professor emeritus and say, "Why don't you go down there, put on a gown and show him how to do it!"

Of course, Palmer has counseled Cabrera, which might be why he sounds so vexed when Bad Daniel appears. It's great television. I may never go to a game when Cabrera pitches, just so I can stay home and listen to this. Please, MASN, when it's time for Cabrera, it's gotta be time for Cakes.

Nestor Aparicio's comments on Cakes in b
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