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Shallow Thought Wednesday

Learn something new every day. Each week I poke fun at Mr. Lindner as our Resident Cheeseburger and Wings Expert; and when I read his story today I learn that he's

...not devoid of culinary cred. As a one-time food editor, I've tasted greatness from the hands of Julia Child, Jacques Pepin, Anne Willan and other foodie dignitaries.

Anyway, Mr. Lindner has now roused himself from his pastoral torpor to submit the following. It's particularly dear to my heart because faithful readers will remember that I suffer from a terminal case of food envy. ...

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I feel shame. First I miss a shallow thought. (I had them, but neglected to share.) Now today I'm late and Mr. Pork's submitted a wonderful pasta rant – sort of the Big Brown of Wednesday reader submissions.

Curiously, the way I feel about this set of circumstances is the same way I feel when I'm out-ordered at a restaurant. I remain outwardly cheery, but inside smoldering envy, self-loathing, larceny -- and the aforementioned shame -- fill my heart.

All of which reminds me of a most effective out-order prevention technique: If you suspect you are about to be out-ordered, order the same meal your rival orders. It has multiple effects:

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1. Deflects out-ordering gambits.

2.  Frustrates the rival.

3. If the choice was a poor one, you're no worse off than your rival and can blame him for tempting you to order the dish in the first place.

(Monica Lopossay/Sun photographer)

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