Christopher Bernheisel, 25, sings a little "Cold-Hearted Snake" to the camera and talks about how this is the most life-altering thing in his life. Based on his speaking voice, I do not predict good things from his audition. Also, he brings gifts for the judges. (Or "bribes," as Simon says. Though I don't think it's going to work.) He starts crying in front of the judges about trying to achieve his dreams, and it's kind of sad. He sings "Since U Been Gone" with spins and acrobatics, and I just hope this is all a joke. Immediately, Randy says, "Is this real, dude?" They just full-out laugh at him. Simon says they like him as a person, but the singing was not good. He asks if he can audition for the red carpet, and clearly he's been practicing this forever, because he has a whole monologue prepared. Simon says he needs to tell his local Fox affiliate that they want to see him reporting on the finale. Well, OK, then. I guess they decided he was for real. He jumps up and down in the confessional about how awesome it was and how he gave them gifts, and he just seems a LOT younger than 25. Maybe there really isn't that much to do in Omaha.