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It's time for two more hours of American Idol auditions. I thought that, overall, they weren't too awfully mean or humiliating last night, but surely once the judges get more tired, they will get meaner, too. That's what happens to me, at least.

First audition of the day is Jessica Brown, a stay-at-home mom who is a recovered meth addict. She sings "I'll Stand By You" for her audition, and she is good, if a little nervous. Simon says she made the song interesting, Randy says she was a little pitchy, but overall "not bad." She's through to Hollywood. It seems like we are getting more sad backstories this season, which could make it weird if a lot of the people we've heard so much about make it to the finals.

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Paul Stafford busts some "moves" in the waiting room. Simon asks him something interesting about himself. He says he is a member of the American Rollercoaster Enthusiasts, and he geeks out a little. He sings Elliott Yamin's "Wait for You." Or rather, he shouts it. Why do they not stop him? They let him go on forever. Paula says it was a very joyful audition. Simon asks if he has ever sung in public. Randy says he enjoyed him, but he's not right for the competition. Paula says "joyful" again. Simon chooses "enthusiastic," but it's a no. "What a nice guy," Simon says. Who is this?

Beth Maddocks loooooves Kelly Clarkson and sings "Beautiful Disaster." It's pitch-tastic and Simon gets kind of mean finally, asking the singing waitress what her tips were like.

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Montage of badness.

Alaina Whitaker says she has been compared to Carrie Underwood, but that she can sing all kinds of different styles. She then does not prove this when she sings "Stronger" by Faith Hill, but she's pretty good. Simon says it was a good audition, "but I don't think you are as good as you think you are." Alaina: "Really? Oh, shoot." Which is pretty hilarious, because doesn't that mean that she thinks she is awesome? Paula says she has a good voice, but needs to work on her breathiness. They vote, and she is through to the next round.

Gregory and Mia Thomas sing a weird duet that leaves the judges speechless, so the singers walk out without a word.

Bruce Dickson's backstory is that he has never kissed a girl, nor has he ever "had an intimate relationship with a woman." His father gave him a key, and his father has the heart that will go to his future wife. Which is a little odd. In front of the judges, Bruce holds onto the key and tells the story of his lack of romantic history. He sings "Ain't No Sunshine," and he has a decent voice. Randy says he has a good voice. Simon says his voice is good in the room, but that he doesn't think it would transfer on TV or radio. He gets a no. He asks them if they have any advice, and Randy tells him to kiss some girls -- and to avoid Ryan on the way out.

Pia "Zpia" Easley is a model and backup singer. She sings some Gladys Knight. Simon says he thought it was a good audition, he likes her and she's interesting. He says most backup singers come in like whipped donkeys, but she didn't. Paula says she likes her, and so does Randy. Hence, golden ticket.

Brandon Green says he has a collection of his bitten-off fingernails. Why would he share this information? He gets in front of the judges, and this fingernail collection IS IN HIS BIO. He sings "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates. Simon calls him forgettable. Paula says she kinda likes him. Randy says he likes his tone and that he needs to keep it out of his nasal zone. He makes the mistake of saying that he likes Simon because he's straight-up, and Randy gets all weird and ego-y, but the long and the short -- Randy and Paula give him yes votes, and he's through. Ryan: "Lucky for Brandon, he NAILED his audition." Oy.

Kayla Hatfield was in a horrible car accident that left her with some eye problems on one side, but she is well recovered and very positive. In front of the judges, she is nervous and breathy. She sings a little Janis Joplin with some extra growls and less melody. Simon says he wants to be her for one hour a day because she is so happy. He says yes. Paula says she has a great personality and that she has a decent voice, but she adds too much "grovel." She says no. Randy says there were pitch problems, but he likes her, and he votes yes. She was interesting, but I don't think she's going to make it past that.

Another montage of badness.

Last audition of the day is Kady Malloy, who does vocal impressions and shows off her Britney (OK, that sounds really bad in the current day and age). She starts singing a Carrie Underwood tune, and Simon stops her and says they really want to hear her. So she tries "Unchained Melody," and it is in her voice. The judges are thrilled. Simon: "I think, of all the people we've seen so far this year, you're the best." Paula and Randy tell her to come to Hollywood prepared with songs she can shine as herself on.

Day one, there were 12 finalists from Dallas. But there's still another day.

Douglas Davidson, a 28-year-old student, says he has been trying "to restart my singing hobby since I was 16." He says his father would catch him singing sometimes and tell him he hated him. Ooooo-kay. He walks around "warming up" for a couple of minutes. He shout-talks his way through "Livin' on a Prayer." It's awful. He says he was rough on a couple of notes, and walks around "warming up" again. He starts another song, and it's terrible, too. Simon tells him to stop and that it's just not working. He ignores them all and keeps trying to sing. Simon: "No one in a million years is ever going to pay to hear you sing." He starts walking and singing again. Security removes him. Simon: "Douglas, they're going to take you someplace safe." And this is one of the unfortunate auditions that really isn't funny or entertaining, just awkward and awful.

Angela Reilly just got married and says her husband helped her pick out her songs and he is a model. She calls him in, and the judges ask him what she should sing first. He says "Baby Love." She sings it with a lot of dancing and strange facial expressions. They stop her and her husband cheers for her. Simon: "The good news is, Angela, your husband really loves you. ... And they say love is deaf. Come on, Chad." Chad: "What?" He says she should try "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." She does. Simon: "Chad, do you own a record player? Do you own music? Would you buy your wife?" They ask him if he likes her vocals. He says yes. They say not so much, it's too karaoke. She asks Paula specifically, and she says, "Reality check: no." She leaves and cries, but gets hugs from model Chad, so it's OK.

Kyle Ensley wants to be the governor of Oklahoma. He sings "Somebody to Love" by Queen with a weird walk. It's in tune, but very high-school musical theater (and he's in college). Simon says he isn't as bad as he thought he would be. And he votes yes. Randy says it was like "glee club at a fraternity club." He says no. Paula gets talked into a yes. So he is through. For now.

Tammy Tuzinski has no energy whatsoever and compares herself to Celine Dion. She sings "The Power of Love." Or rather, she says she is going to sing "The Power of Love" but then she starts "If You Ask Me To" instead. She sings it like she's half-singing under her breath with no one listening. Randy: "You're a nice girl, but it was awful."

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Colton Swon plays guitar, drums and bass, but not all at the same time, and not during the audition. He sings "Boondocks" by Little Big Town. Paula thinks he did a good job, but that he needs to open his eyes more and perform for the audience, not so much inside his head. Simon says it was OK. Randy says there's something he likes about him. They all three say yes, so he is through. He asks the judges to help fake out his parents, and they yell things at him on his way out the door.

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Montage of ... gender confusion?

Drew Poppelreiter is a farmer. He sings George Strait's "Check Yes or No" with a whole lotta twang. Simon says automatic no. Randy says yes. Paula says she didn't feel any kind of wow factor. Simon interrupts and says, "What, are you not going to agree with Randy?" She does agree with Randy, natch, and he's going to Hollywood.

Kyle Renick believes he is a "hard-core rocker." He has a fake tan, bad eyeliner ("guyliner") and says his look stands on its own -- he is wearing a hand-lettered T-shirt over a red polo and shorts. He calls himself edgy and intense on stage. Then in the confessional he dances techno. He sings Kelly Clarkson's "Never Again." SO INTENSE AND HARD CORE! And he pretends like he is holding a microphone. Oh dear. Simon says he looks really menacing in the eyes and it's unsettling. Kyle asks if he can sing some (HARD CORE) Better Than Ezra instead. They say no and start trying to vote, and he starts singing something else. They vote no.

Montage of "Since U Been Gone." It's as good as you expect.

Nina Shaw, who is from Kelly Clarkson's hometown of Burleson, Texas, is next. She sings Whitney Houston's "Run to You." Simon says she's old-fashioned, overdone and cabaret. Paula calls it "pageant-like." Nina sings a couple of lines of another song. Randy likes her and says the throwback stuff is coming back. He says yes, Simon says no, Paula says yes.

Tonight's designated joke audition is Renaldo Lapuz, who is dressed in a white and silver suit with fake fur and a cape. And feathers. And Simon's name on his hat. He is going to sing his "own original composition," which is never a good sign. Also, he's 44, so he can't go through anyway, so clearly this is all for naught. He's not even that funny, but the judges are so fried after 12 hours that they start singing along with him, and they are funny. Randy dances with him, pulls Ryan in the room and makes him watch, too, and Paula runs away screaming. Finally, she comes back and pretends to be a sign-language interpreter. Then she dances. Simon says he has a horrible prediction that "We're Brothers Forever" is going to be a hit record. It's a no. In the confessional, Renaldo cries and says Simon is one of heaven's chosen. Okie dokie.

From Dallas, 24 total make it to Hollywood. Renaldo is not one of them.

Next week: San Diego.

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