Where are you? Are you in the military? Have you seen Jared or Garrick? ... Did you hear about Andrew? He broke his leg. Jaimie did, too. I either need you back or Oral Roberts in here. We've got freshmen and walk-ons in there battling it out. I'm trying to give Paul Pinegar some help, but there isn't much to give. Ah, you don't even know who Paul Pinegar is. I'm just doing the best I can with what I've got. It is what it is. These are the cards I've been dealt.
No, Ralph didn't really write that, but I really did call Donnie Woods' mom to find out what the Terps' former starting left guard is up to.
And no, he's not saving the country. Just building it up.
Donnie nixed the idea of joining the military and is instead working for a local construction company. He is also coaching the offensive linemen for the Landon School's varsity football team in Bethesda. His mother, Donna, said he graduated.
It was just this past week that Ralph Friedgen said he didn't think about the three offensive linemen who left his program with eligibility remaining - Donnie Woods (who would have had a chance at the NFL), Garrick Clig (who could have been a decent backup) and Jared Gaither (Ravens).
"It doesn't do me any good to think about that," Friedgen said on Tuesday.
Today, though, he addressed the effects of those guys - and Zach Marshall - choosing to leave.
"What happens there is when you lose those guys it's a maturity thing," Friedgen said. "You can bring people in, but they're not at the same maturity level as those kids when they left. That creates a void in your program and that's what we're dealing with right now."
A void? The offensive line is more like the Bermuda Triangle, a place where players go to disappear. Ralph said today that left tackle Scott Burley is now nursing an injury on his OTHER foot, and is questionable for the B.C. game. Bruce Campbell is also doubtful with an ankle sprain.
Ralph said he doesn't hold any grudges against the guys who chose to leave the program.
"That's their decision," Friedgen said. "My only regret is that when a kid gets his degree, like Wesley Jefferson did, and he wants to pursue something, I don't have a problem with it. What it doesn't do is allow us to plan for that."
Here's some more Ralph wasn't planning for:
Drew Robinson is out for the rest of the season with an MCL injury.
Dan Gronkowski is still out, should be back in time for FSU.
Erin Henderson injured his back and was "very stiff today," Friedgen said. "We'll see how he is tomorrow."
Jack Griffin hurt his shoulder, but he's expected to play.
Donnie Woods? His team is 6-3 after a 30-0 romp of Leonardtown.