In last night's landslide of reality TV, I had to pick my battles. Idol and Dancing got the live treatment, but On The Lot was relegated to Tivo limbo. Judging by last night's ratings (On The Lot's numbers were half that of its lead-in American Idol) — many people either taped it or more likely tuned out altogether.
And more worrisome for Fox, the people who did stick around for the show — billed as the search for the next big filmmaker — started to abandon ship midway through. I know why. It was pretty to look at, but, boy, was it boring.
So here's the concept: 50 filmmakers were chosen from thousands of entries (each director submitted a film). Each week, directors will be judged on a series of challenges and films (including their original submission). The winner receives a one-million dollar development deal with Dreamworks Studio.
Much like other reality shows, On The Lot has three judges from the industry. Actress and screenwriter Carrie Fisher (Star Wars), comedy director Gary Marshall (Laverne and Shirley, Georgia Rule), and action director Brett Ratner (X-Men: The Last Stand, Rush Hour) serve as the opening show's arbiters.
While judges lack the zingers of American Idol, they were the best part of the first show. The interactions between Fisher and Marshall are endearing and Ratner (whom I usually loathe) brings a wide-eyed enthusiasm and respect for the contestants that's refreshing.
The judges introduce the first challenge: The pitch. The directors are randomly assigned one of five pre-fab plot lines that they will have to convince the judges to make a movie around:
1. A slacker applies to the CIA and is accepted.
2. A man watches TV and discovers he's a wanted or missing man.
3. A mouse is abducted by a drug company and must plot an escape.
4. A priest meets the woman of his dream just before he is to be ordained.
5. A crate from a military base is delivered to a house in suburbia.
Evoking Project Runway's manic deadlines, the directors are given 12 hours to flesh out the idea. And here's where the show started circling the bowl. The contestants are — how do I say this? — personality challenged. Maybe the editing process hid the super-interesting ones, but come on, throw us a bone here. When they finally make the pitch there's a lot of nervousness, screw-ups and even some man tears. Yet little in the way of inspired nuttiness or genuine creative spark.
One highlight was a crazed pitch by Jeremy Corray. He really got into it — looking like the villain from The Incredibles and screaming things like "ninja star to the head!" At one point as he started fiddling with his belt, Fisher was worried he was going to drop his pants. After the pitch, Corray admits he may have gotten carried away but he just wanted to "unleash the thunder." Trust me, dude, it's never a good idea to "unleash the thunder" in front of Princess Leia. He's snicker-worthy and quasi-entertaining, so of course he's one of 14 contestant to be sent packing in the first round.
After the bloodletting, the judges waste no time and hurl the survivors into the next challenge, which involves teams. Yippee! (I cross my fingers, hoping for some serious cat fights and hair pulling.) Alas, the bickering falls short of my lofty expectations. Mostly, some ugly fat guy named Jeff is being bossy and evil to some little leprechaun of a man, aptly named Marty Martin.
And this is where the Tivo tells me it's over. And for once, I'm not cross with Tivo for cutting off the end.
Posted by Tim Swift
