Bill Parcells announced today that he's retiring, making him the leading candidate to coach the Oakland Raiders in 2009.Cincinnati cornerback Johnathan Joseph was arrested early Monday and charged with possession of marijuana.Joseph is the ninth Bengals player arrested in the last nine months. Three more and I win the office pool.And I thought I'd have to wait until the Pro Bowl to pad my total.Coach Marvin Lewis issued an apology on behalf of the team. Then he apologized for the Vietnam War, gas prices and how nasty the American Idol judges have been this season.Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick won't face charges after having his water bottle seized by security officials at Miami International Airport.The bottle had a hidden compartment behind the label and smelled of marijuana, but there was no evidence of the drug.Sort of like getting an order of chicken mcnuggets and finding no evidence of chicken.I got stuck behind a woman in a security line at BWI Airport who was forced to surrender her bottle of water and a tangerine that she packed in a carry-on bag.Water and a tangerine. Add a salt shaker and I could rule the world.Miguel Tejada update: He attended a children's party and got an ice cream headache, but it soon went away and now he's extremely contented again.Even though Rick Dempsey has been hired by MASN, you still could see him at spring training in March, perhaps throwing a little batting practice and working with the catchers.I supposed that I could add former Orioles catcher Geronimo Gil to the list of players who sat out a year and then attempted a comeback, if he sticks with the Colorado Rockies.Have the Rockies missed any other former Orioles who might want to play this year? Anyone checked on Rich Becker lately?