As ESPN brings us every pitch thrown to Barry Bonds so we can track the exact moment when he ties and passes Babe Ruth's 714 home runs, I can't help but think what the controversial slugger thinks about fantasy baseball.
Does he know what it is? Does he have an opinion on when he should be drafted? Did he give friends insider information about how many games he expected to play this season? Does he have friends?
These questions need answers. I'm fully aware that Bonds isn't exactly the most cordial guy with reporters, but this needs to be set up. Can you imagine someone going up to him after a game and saying, "Are you aware that fantasy owners are disappointed that you are hitting .261 with five homers and 12 RBIs?"
We could even put odds on what his reaction would be. I'm open to suggestions but think it would go something like this:
3 to 1: He stares a hole through the reporter like an angry father who doesn't know what to say when his teenage son gets home three hours past curfew and smells like Jack Daniels.
5 to 1: He reminds the reporter that it isn't easy to be Barry Bonds, sheds a tear and asks the person to sign a waiver so he can air the footage on Bonds on Bonds.
100 to 1: He doesn't even respond because his nose is buried in Game of Shadows as he sits at his locker.
10,000 to 1: He apologizes to fantasy owners and invites the reporter to join him for a protein shake and some flaxseed oil to discuss the issue further.
This needs to happen. Maybe Ashton Kutcher can fit it in on an episode of Punk'd or Tony Danza can include it on his daily talk show. When it happens, just remember who had the idea first.
Around the league
Milwaukee's Carlos Lee has 15 homers on the season, trailing only Albert Pujols for the league lead. He has only struck out 11 times. Among the 34 players who had hit at least eight home runs entering Wednesday's games, only Pujols had struck out fewer times...Marlins rookie Hanley Ramirez (acquired from Boston in the Josh Beckett trade) has been one of the few bright spots this year for Florida. Going in to Wednesday night's game, he was hitting .311 with eight stolen bases and 29 runs scored...Cole Hamels will start for the Phillies Friday night against the Reds. He went 3-1 with a 1.04 ERA in the minors this year. He also struck out 65 batters in 43 1/3 innings.