Although Owl Meat didn't know it at the time, my daughter went to a Halloween party last night as...Sarah Palin!!!! Amazing coincidence!!!!
Here's the Owl Man with a very topical Funtastic Thursday.
If anyone wants to riff on Obama's Halloween party, just post below. And be sure to include some food. EL...
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken
Whenever, at a party, I have been in the mood to study fools, I have always looked for a great beauty: they always gather round her like flies around a fruit stall.
-- Jean Paul Richter (1795)
Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Food, fun, costumes and politicians -- what else do you need? Governor Sarah Palin hosted a lavish Halloween party at GOP bigwig Martin Chuzzlewit's estate last night in New Hampshire. Here are some reports from my sources in the field.
There was a wide variety of New Hampshire wines and 14 different flavors of Fanta soda. An ice sculpture of Cindy McCain was so lifelike that it seemed to move at times. Republican Party Chairman Derek Smalls planned to fly in fresh salmon, baby elk and spotted moose, but had to cancel the food at the last minute. It seems that the McCain-Feingold party funding limit had been exceeded, so guests were asked to bring a covered dish.
First to arrive was Ann Coulter in costume as Death, complete with a scythe. She was thrown to the floor by Secret Service agents after John McCain panicked. He apparently thought she was the actual Grim Reaper. Her tray of peanut butter on celery was ruined.
Mitt Romney, in a mischievous Ho Chi Minh costume, was almost turned away at the gate. He set up an impressive sushi station and was surprisingly adept with the long blade. Mmmm, he makes a great California roll.
Joe Lieberman arrived as a fabulous Elvis with wig, white jumpsuit, and bedazzled cape. Sadly his noodle kugel wasn't very popular. He felt unappreciated, became indignant, and threatened to go to a better party across the street.
After a few mango Margaritas he calmed down and was later seen in the den accosting Diane Feinstein in a Jamaican accent, "Who's your Loverman? Huh? Who's your Lieberman? Come on baby, that kills in Bridgeport. Gimme a smile."
Ralph Nader was dressed as a hobo and brought some dented cans of baked beans.
Libertarian Candidate Bob Barr was dressed as a shiny silver spaceman and just brought a handful of Arby's coupons. He was asked to leave after stuffing his spacesuit with shrimp puffs and bacon-wrapped scallops.
There were fun activities for the children: pumpkin carving, pin the tail on the donkey (natch), and bobbing for apples. One child dressed as an elf became hysterical during the apple bobbing. He threw a tantrum and screamed to stop "waterboarding" the children. Hey, that's Dennis Kucinich. How'd he get in here?
John McCain was spotted in the back yard screaming at a thunderstorm after referring to Palin as "ungrateful daughter Goneril." You might think that he was dressed as King Lear, but no, he was wearing a rabbit suit.
Sarah Palin wore a hunter's costume designed by Roberto Cavalli and Ted Nugent. She must have been in a playful mood, because she pointed her rifle at McCain and joked, "I got you in my sites there, Grandpa." Her prop gun was a custom-made AK-47M with side-folding butt stock and scope mounting rail that fired special '5N7' 5.45x39mm hollow point marzipan ammo designed by noted Sioux City pastry chef and weapons enthusiast David St. Hubbins.
Political wonk star couple Mary Matalin and James "The Ragin' Cajun" Carville arrived in mid-argument as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. Carville contributed two buckets of crawfish and gumbo. John Edwards, dressed as a pirate, was accompanied by Lindsay Lohan wearing a Lindsay Lohan mask. (No one was fooled.) They brought vodka, Red Bull and gummy bears.
Also in attendance was Samson the Pro-Life Moose, the mascot for Governor Palin's new anti-abortion/pro-hunting campaign. Little Piper Palin poked him with a fork several times. He was adorable -- so cute you just wanted to eat him up (with barbecue sauce!) or shoot him from a helicopter.
Todd Palin on bartender duty was a dead ringer for Kevin Federline. Bill O'Reilly in a cowboy outfit showed up with a half-eaten bucket of KFC, had too many Zimas, and was seen wrestling a child in a Keith Olbermann mask. Mike Huckabee brought Fresca-marinated muskrat kabobs and came as a hillbilly preacherman, which seemed kookier when he created it last Halloween.
Rudy Giuliani was dressed as "9-11 Man" in navy blue tights, red Underoos, a Yankees t-shirt and a USAir blanket for a cape. He was planning to make a big entrance, but by the time he got there the party was almost over. He brought pistachios and fruit roll-ups.
Someone dressed as Elmer Fudd brought vegetable lasagna and gherkins. He never removed his mask and was suspected to be Barney Frank crashing the party. A sad-looking Governor Bill Richardson came as a droopy Zorro and brought grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, which he and Nader ate sullenly by the fireplace.
There was also a White House Hell House. Ooooo scary! In one room was a state dinner for Queen Elizabeth where the entire menu was chicken and waffles. Guests proceeded to the Scary Oval Office where President Sir Mix-a-Lot was smoking blunts and spanking girls with big butts (which he likes). That had a certain air of familiarity -- not too scary. There was a demonic schoolroom where "Nancy Pelosi" forced teenagers to learn the anatomical names for hoohas, trunk junk, and "down there." Boo! After wading through a sea of break dancers on the Scary White House lawn, they reentered the mansion and were treated to a concert by Toby Keith. Keith wrote a song for the occasion dedicated to Governor Palin called "Drillin' All Night Long."
All in all a great party (except for the noodle kugel).
My field associates sent some snapshots:
(Photos courtesy of Getty Images)