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Best false alarm: John Waters’ kidney stone

Baltimore filmmaker-author-raconteur-unregenerate degenerate John Waters is a no-show at his annual Christmas soiree? Oh no, this must be serious — there's no way he'd miss one of the year's most talked-about off-the-record parties, especially when he's the one throwing it. Relax, an exasperated Waters, 70, assured the worried masses. "I am completely fine and [the] whole thing is ridiculous and blown out of proportion," he wrote in an email a few days later. "I had a kidney stone. It hurt. Lots. Went to hospital and got excellent treatment and was home the next day…. Jeeze."

— Chris Kaltenbach

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