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The Gutt Gets Gutted on 'Dancing with the Stars'

DanceSteve GuttenbergTelevisionCristian de la FuenteDeath

On Tuesday's "Dancing with the Stars," another couple is sent home. But not before Steve Guttenberg treats us to what is probably the most entertaining number I've ever seen on the show. Ever.

Guttes gets the encore nod for his Tango but, instead of dancing with Anna, he danced with her husband/rehearsal stand-in/Monica Seles' partner Jonathan Roberts. And this is why The Gutt is so good. I've always liked Jonathan and this really illustrates one of the reasons why. Hi-larious.

Saved first are Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark and Adam Corolla & Julianne. Can't say I'm surprised that Adam's safe -- disappointed, yes.

Kylie Minogue comes out and performs her first number next. She's in a sparkly red mini-dress and some of the biggest gold heels I've ever seen. I like her little blonde bob as well. She didn't sound fantastic but it was nice to see her healthy and happy after such a long time.

After the standard audience thoughts segment, Priscilla Presley & Louie are saved as are ... Marissa Jaret Winokur & Tony. They are both surprised and happy and hug and twirl about as the spotlight above them goes to black.

Back from the commercial break, there's an interview backstage with the four saved celebs which Adam swiftly knocks off track. Then Tom Bergeron introduces a time-filler about the surprising ways the stars spend they're free time. Jason builds and paints little ships in a bottle, Marlee is a volunteer police officer for the narcotics dept, Shannon is the president of the "MacGyver" fan club, Kristi is a hot dog eating champion going to nationals, Priscilla has a psychic hotline, Marissa surfs, Steve freestyle raps (under the names "Guttmeister General" or "MC Guttes"), and Cristian has a pet otter and wants to open a sanctuary for the members of the otter family that are endangered. Remember, it is April Fool's Day.

After that, the Alvin Ailey Dance Company perform as part of the Macy's Stars of Dance series. It's always nice to see them perform, but it would've been nice to see them do a different number. I'm pretty sure I saw this when I was a kid in the 80's.

Kylie returns after the commercial break for her second number (and outfit) -- "Can't Get You Out of My Head." Mark & Julianne dance to this one -- quite impressively. It's part Ballroom, part ... not.

Because we can never have too much filler, Dr. Pepper Schwartz (a relationship/personality expert) reveals the results of compatibility tests she gave the couples to say which ones are the best matches. How mildly interesting.

Jason Taylor & Edyta and Marlee Matlin & Fabian are the next couples saved after that bit of tomfoolery. And then there's yet another commercial break. Ugh.

The two couples saved after the break are Cristian de la Fuente & Cheryl and Shannon Elizabeth & Derek. So it's between Steve and Mario, and the one that's safe is not necessarily in the bottom two.

Unfortunately, it's the last gasp for our beloved Guttes. I shed a tear for his departure. Steve Guttenberg leaving and Adam staying is kind of like watching Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon Jin.

So, to say goodbye, I present what is sadly the last Guttenism of the Day: "Anything's possible if you believe."

Indeed Gutt, indeed.

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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